I know I am not alone when I say it has been really hard to find happiness lately. Now that my life has gotten very busy, I hate to admit that I am finding it very hard to locate the energy to do the things that I know will bring me joy and restore me. I'm also finding it hard to follow through on some of my responsibilities, and for me, that's a sign that my mental health is not being prioritized (oops - time to fix that). 

Photo by Victoria Bilsborough

This quarantine period has been... weird. I've had days of crippling anxiety and fear, which is far from fun. But I've also had days of profound gratitude and joy because I've re-introducing things into my life that have helped me feel more consistently energized than I've felt in the past four years. It's kind of scary how easy it is to get caught up in the mundane parts of life and work and feel like your soul has been sucked away. I knew that if I didn't focus or prioritize adding happy activities into my schedule during this shutdown, I would seep into a deeper depression. Personally, long periods of boredom lead to heavy periods of depression in my life. It's a patterned I've noticed over and over since I've graduated college. And it's a cycle I'm committed to breaking. I knew I had to be proactive and push myself to do at least one fulfilling activity a day to stay in a healthy mindset, so that is exactly what I did. Here are a few activities I've been prioritizing during the shutdown to take care of my mental health. Since these habits have reignited something inside me, I plan to keep prioritizing these activities even when quarantine is over.

Color or paint while watching trash reality tv shows or any funny show.
Love Island (UK and AU version), ALL of the shows under the 90 Day Fiancé Umbrella and Marrying Millions have entertained me so much. I never liked reality tv until maybe a year or two ago but now I'm addicted. If reality tv isn't your thing, I've been loving uplifting comedy shows like Brooklyn nine-nine, Blackish, Schitt's Creek and The Good Place. Pretty much any show that can make us laugh should be prioritized right now. The more good vibes, the better.  And to avoid feeling like a useless slob while watching hours and hours of TV, I've found that coloring in an adult coloring book or using my watercolor paint kit has legit been feeding my soul. Guys, I feel so refreshed and relaxed while exploring my artistic side. Here are a few coloring/watercolor books I've been loving or  I want to buy (*affiliate links). Maybe I'll start a portfolio for my artwork lol.


Take an online class in a fun or stimulating subject 
I feel the most fulfilled when I am learning or improving a skill. That's why I love the art of dance so much. Exploring and learning new choreography is challenging, fun and gives me a sense of accomplishment. But I've also been spending a lot of time diving into finance courses (learning about money is really fucking fun, just trust me and try it) as well as career skill courses, fitness courses and hobby classes. I want to learn calligraphy, fashion illustration, improve my handstands and upper body strength, etc. Between my dance conditioning/flexibility classes, choreography classes, twerk and floor work classes, career classes and art classes... it's pretty hard to feel bored.

Have a dance party 
Dancing has been one of my favorite outlets since I could walk. Although I dedicate a lot of time to taking dance classes so I can train and improve my technique, blasting music and dancing in the privacy of my own bedroom is still one of my favorite ways to spend an hour or so of my day. Especially if I have a glass of wine or a Truly drink in my hand. It's freeing and it's not like anyone is watching so it really doesn't matter what I look like. It's just a form of fun and excellent cardio.

Play Sims Freeplay or Animal Crossing 
So I'm not going to lie, sometimes I get real addicted to video games... like on a "drop a lot of money and set alarms to finish timed tasks in the game" level. Oooopps. I'd like to think that I've outgrown that bad habit since I now limit how much time I spend playing games, but they are still hella fun. My quarantine roommate just got a Switch and now I kind of want one. Video games are an amazing way to escape reality for a little bit. As long as you aren't blowing a lot of money on games and extension packs (like I did in the past), go forth and conquer lol.


Go for a walk and listen to a podcast, call a friend/loved one... or drink
One of my roommates and I went for a walk by the water this past weekend and a few restaurants along the shore have cocktail stands. This was one of the highlights of my weekend. Something so simple and cheap was so uplifting. It's easy to fall into the trap that I need to spend a lot of money to have fun, but this quarantine has been a great reminder that I really, really don't.

Turn my meals into luxurious experiences
Now I understand why so many European cultures take their time eating meals. It makes the day so much more fucking fun. I wrote a post listing a few of my favorite ways to turn an ordinary meal at home into an incredible experience. I hope it gives you some practical, affordable and inspirational ways to enjoy your next meal.

Read
I personally like to read books at night because I know I usually fall asleep if I read at home. I end up melting into the couch, chair or bed unless I'm drinking a cup of coffee while I read. But reading blogs and digital media articles is hella fun too. I love sipping on a cup of tea while I catch up on my favorite blogs and lifestyle sites. Such an easy way to take a mental escape for a little bit.

Work on my passion project aka this blog. 
I love writing and creating. I love curating collages and piecing together looks. I love having wine-filled photoshoots. I love having a platform that I can turn into a business with hard-work and dedication. I know that blogging is far from everyone's cup of tea, but I believe everyone has multiple things in their hearts that they have been dying to pursue. And one of those things has to be possible to do from home. The best part is, you don't need to try to be the best or figure out how to monetize that passion unless you really want to. There's nothing wrong with pursuing a goal just for fucking fun or to build self-esteem. I have friends who have been using some of their time at home to take their workouts to the next level, caught up on their reading lists, worked on writing books, researched more about their dream career fields, learned how to make fancy cocktails, taken their businesses to the next level, like honestly the list goes on and on. Doesn't really matter what you do, as long as it helps you feel energized and you see it as a way to escape as opposed to seeing it as a responsibility.

I hope seeing what I do for fun encourages you to add more fun to your daily routine. Just because something works well for me, doesn't mean it will work well for you. It's all about trial and error. But I'd love to learn what you've been doing for fun these past few weeks. The more ideas we share, the better. Thank you so much for spending a moment of your day to read this post. Your support means the world to me.

Photo by Brigitte Tohm

Today I wanted to share one of my favorite tools for getting out of my head and finding joy/contentment with my current place in life. I have to admit that I do not use this tool nearly as much as I should, but every time I do, I usually feel so relieved.

If you are anything like me, you have a million thoughts buzzing around in your mind most of the time. I know personally, there are a billion things I want to see, experience, overcome, and achieve during my life. Sometimes those thoughts seriously overwhelm me. Kind of to a point where it's crippling... then I end up lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling and having a despair party (which is different than a pity party because I don't feel like a victim - but instead, I feel like a loser who is self-sabotaging my life). Long story short, these episodes are always caused by the same destructive thoughts:

• "I'm not good enough." 
• "I'm not doing enough." 

Oy, Nia. We've been down this road soooo many times. I know those thoughts are not facts. I know they don't serve me. I know I've dedicated a lot of time in the past to overcome them... but the shitty thing is, I will constantly have to overcome these same two limiting beliefs. And so will you. That's just how life works, unfortunately. The fact that self-doubt will always be something I battle isn't really the issue. Bad thoughts come and go. Bad days are inevitable. It's only a problem when I let these thoughts consume me and let them rob me of being present or finding joy throughout the day. And my favorite tactic to prevent this from happening is to sit down and do something called a "brain dump".

Eventually, I want to develop the habit of doing a brain dump every single morning because this is one of my top anxiety-fighting skills. But hey, I'm far from having my shit together all the time, so I give myself grace (another thing I want to do much more often). In a gist, this is how a brain dump works. Every single thought swarming around in your mind, you write that bad boy down. That includes everything on your to-do list, that random book you've been wanting to read, things you want to cook for dinner, all the mean thoughts you've been telling yourself, that new job/career industry you think you want to explore, that dating interest you want to tell-off because he/she ghosted you.... literally every single thought that is draining your energy/focus. Write it down, in no particular order. Just as it flows to you (or record yourself talking if you don't feel like writing). I like to start with one big, messy list, and then take multiple sheets of paper and create categories such as: blog, fitness, dance/pole, career, cooking, mental health, entertainment, finances, love life, home decor/cleaning, etc.

Now after you have all of those thoughts out of your head, no longer distracting you, the fun part begins. It is time to prioritize that list! Yeah!!!!! Wooooo!! Why is this so fun for me? Because it helps me calm down and realize that I do not need to accomplish everything on this list so quickly. And it helps me pinpoint what actually matters for that day. I personally only choose 1-7 things to focus on each day. On days when I'm really depressed, I only have one priority and I'm ok with that. It's not like I've ever gone through a covid-19 total shutdown before. On other days when I feel really energetic and healthy, I can mindfully commit to tackling 3-7 of my top priorities. It ebbs and flows.

Check-in with your emotions and take note of what your emotional/physical and financial needs are for the day. Are your basic needs met (food, shelter, transportation, utilities)? Do you feel sick or injured? How emotionally drained are you? Do you have enough money to buy food for next week or pay rent? Do you have extra energy that you can dedicate to a small task such as cleaning your room, doing a 10-minute workout, or having a 5-minute journaling session?

Once you have checked in and reset your perspective, you can prioritize and pick a few things to focus on. Here is a short example of my braindump today:

• finish Financial Peace University before free trial runs out (3)
• write and publish blog post (2)
• fill out one page of my "52 Lists of Happiness" journal (4) 
• update budget (4b - can do tomorrow if I start feeling too drained)
• *note to self: take a mental break from dating apps because talking to all these fuck boys is draining me instead of being a source of entertainment/fun. (5)
• write down my reading wish list (7)
• vacuum apartment (1)
• at-home mani/pedi (6a - do at the same time as #6)
• promote blog post on Pinterest and IG (2b)
• start Pinterest marketing course (9 - can start next week) 
• catch up on Blackish (one of my favorite tv shows) (6)
• read for 20 minutes tonight (8)
• *note to self: skip dance classes today because my shoulder really hurts (5b)