Photo by Brigitte Tohm

Today I wanted to share one of my favorite tools for getting out of my head and finding joy/contentment with my current place in life. I have to admit that I do not use this tool nearly as much as I should, but every time I do, I usually feel so relieved.

If you are anything like me, you have a million thoughts buzzing around in your mind most of the time. I know personally, there are a billion things I want to see, experience, overcome, and achieve during my life. Sometimes those thoughts seriously overwhelm me. Kind of to a point where it's crippling... then I end up lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling and having a despair party (which is different than a pity party because I don't feel like a victim - but instead, I feel like a loser who is self-sabotaging my life). Long story short, these episodes are always caused by the same destructive thoughts:

• "I'm not good enough." 
• "I'm not doing enough." 

Oy, Nia. We've been down this road soooo many times. I know those thoughts are not facts. I know they don't serve me. I know I've dedicated a lot of time in the past to overcome them... but the shitty thing is, I will constantly have to overcome these same two limiting beliefs. And so will you. That's just how life works, unfortunately. The fact that self-doubt will always be something I battle isn't really the issue. Bad thoughts come and go. Bad days are inevitable. It's only a problem when I let these thoughts consume me and let them rob me of being present or finding joy throughout the day. And my favorite tactic to prevent this from happening is to sit down and do something called a "brain dump".

Eventually, I want to develop the habit of doing a brain dump every single morning because this is one of my top anxiety-fighting skills. But hey, I'm far from having my shit together all the time, so I give myself grace (another thing I want to do much more often). In a gist, this is how a brain dump works. Every single thought swarming around in your mind, you write that bad boy down. That includes everything on your to-do list, that random book you've been wanting to read, things you want to cook for dinner, all the mean thoughts you've been telling yourself, that new job/career industry you think you want to explore, that dating interest you want to tell-off because he/she ghosted you.... literally every single thought that is draining your energy/focus. Write it down, in no particular order. Just as it flows to you (or record yourself talking if you don't feel like writing). I like to start with one big, messy list, and then take multiple sheets of paper and create categories such as: blog, fitness, dance/pole, career, cooking, mental health, entertainment, finances, love life, home decor/cleaning, etc.

Now after you have all of those thoughts out of your head, no longer distracting you, the fun part begins. It is time to prioritize that list! Yeah!!!!! Wooooo!! Why is this so fun for me? Because it helps me calm down and realize that I do not need to accomplish everything on this list so quickly. And it helps me pinpoint what actually matters for that day. I personally only choose 1-7 things to focus on each day. On days when I'm really depressed, I only have one priority and I'm ok with that. It's not like I've ever gone through a covid-19 total shutdown before. On other days when I feel really energetic and healthy, I can mindfully commit to tackling 3-7 of my top priorities. It ebbs and flows.

Check-in with your emotions and take note of what your emotional/physical and financial needs are for the day. Are your basic needs met (food, shelter, transportation, utilities)? Do you feel sick or injured? How emotionally drained are you? Do you have enough money to buy food for next week or pay rent? Do you have extra energy that you can dedicate to a small task such as cleaning your room, doing a 10-minute workout, or having a 5-minute journaling session?

Once you have checked in and reset your perspective, you can prioritize and pick a few things to focus on. Here is a short example of my braindump today:

• finish Financial Peace University before free trial runs out (3)
• write and publish blog post (2)
• fill out one page of my "52 Lists of Happiness" journal (4) 
• update budget (4b - can do tomorrow if I start feeling too drained)
• *note to self: take a mental break from dating apps because talking to all these fuck boys is draining me instead of being a source of entertainment/fun. (5)
• write down my reading wish list (7)
• vacuum apartment (1)
• at-home mani/pedi (6a - do at the same time as #6)
• promote blog post on Pinterest and IG (2b)
• start Pinterest marketing course (9 - can start next week) 
• catch up on Blackish (one of my favorite tv shows) (6)
• read for 20 minutes tonight (8)
• *note to self: skip dance classes today because my shoulder really hurts (5b)

Photo by Carlita Benazito

Hi friends,

 Today has been a weird day. I started off being pretty productive, calm, cool and collected, but as the day etched on, I found myself slipping into multiple anxiety episode. My strong ass anxiety cocktail was 1/3 financial stress, 1/3 “you’re not using your time the best way possible” bs, and 1/3 “wtf is the “right” next (financial/career)step for me. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and I don’t want to waste my time by focusing on the “wrong” priority” train of thought. 


After I had this little panic attack, I knew I needed to go lie down so I could breathe, reflect and stop draining myself. I just needed my mind to RELAX. And I have come to discover that a fun way to quiet my mind is to seek out beautiful photos for inspiration. 

The photos below are a source of hope for me. I like visual reminders of how beautiful life can be simply by indulging in little luxuries. And this feeling of scarcity/fear will not last for all eternity. I can do this. You can do this. We all can do this, because we are in this together. What are a few simple luxuries that always make your day brighter? 




Sending you all the love, health, a wellness wishes. Thanks for stopping by to read this short post. Your support means the world to me. Until next time my friend.

Photo by Loverna Journey

Fun pjs
This cute pj set from boohoo. It was so affordable but I feel so fancy in it! For some reason, I just want to lounge around drinking tea and eating British biscuits when I wear this set... might have to make that a reality real soon.

Candy Striper PJ Set  and HERE again in more size options

Virtual panels
We all know I am addicted to learning/self-growth. There have been so many amazing virtual panels, conferences, Q&As and IG Lives from thought leaders in my professional industry and other areas I'm interested in such as mental wellness, exploring new hobbies, coping with Covid-19, pop culture panels. These virtual sessions always leave me feeling inspired or entertained. This week, I attended a  live panel featuring Kerry Washington where she discussed Little Fires Everywhere... yeah, my week was made. No matter what subjects interest you, you can find live, interactive virtual events featuring them.


Tackling my burnout
I still feel burned out despite having a break from work because I've been emotionally draining myself more than I realize. I keep thinking " I have to be productive so I don't fall behind. I have no excuse not to use this time to build the life I want. I'm going to be a loser if I don't use this time to accomplish x,y and z".... yeah, that neurotic mindset caught up with me real freaking quick. It's important to push ourselves, but I need to learn how to do that in a kinder way. So now I am focusing on monitoring my thoughts and emotions more and realizing that my definition of a well-rounded, fulfilling life keeps evolving.  This video helped me soooo much. I want to do a better job of nurturing my spirit. I know exactly what makes me happy, so now I want to be better at doing those things more often.

1. There’s gonna be a virtual career fair for remote jobs on April 16th!!! 
2. Freelancers can apply for a Coronavirus Paycheck Protection Loan - and it seems like the loan can be forgiven after 8 weeks if you abide by the requirements. 
3. I’ve been meaning to check out these two videos for inspo on making money right now during coronavirus because it seems nearly impossible, but in the words of Marie Forleo, “everything is figureoutable”. 
1. How to make $$ during a recession
2. How to make an extra $1K a month by starting a side hustle  
4. James Nord dives even deeper into the PPP Loan program in this Drink with James Episode. 
5. Tech companies are hiring like crazy right now! 
6. I'm following the #GetHired movement on LinkedIn. From job openings, virtual bootcamps, helpful networking tips and free webinars, this # is a hub for resources. 

• It's ok to feel overwhelmed. Here's what to do next - Elizabeth Gilbert 
• Lower Your Stress in 3 Minutes - Marie Forleo 
• Use this to start a new chapter in your life - Gary Vee

• Dating App Horror Stories - Buzzfeed(these are so wild!) 
• Jared Fried gives some of the best dating advice when it comes to maintaining your boundaries and not being played like a clown. 
• The person you really need to marry ( yeah, the answer is yourself and I wanted to eyeball too but this video is a nice reminder that we are already whole)- Ted Talk
• Three red flags to look for in yourself when dating 
• 4 habits of all successful relationships - Ted Talk

Working out or dancing with other people via IG lives and zoom classes has hands down been my saving grace. It keeps me motivated because the classes are live and it's a nice way to catch up/ chat with others. I know my mental state would not be nearly as stable without these classes.