posts in career inspiration

Soul Food: My Biggest Take-Aways From the Small Business Summit 2019 That Apply To Every Part of Life

October 20, 2019


I've been lucky enough to have always been surrounded by ambitious, creative people. Even as a kid, I was consistently in environments where people wanted to be the best versions of themselves and ferociously went after their dreams. I believe that growing up in positive environments like that helped me to believe that literally anything was possible. But as I've gotten older, life has thrown so many obstacles my way that have led me to seriously doubt myself in the past 3 years. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

 I love discussing my insecurities with my friends and learning to not be ashamed of them, but I also know that the only way to create the life we want is to learn how to overcome those mental roadblocks and get to fucking work. But pushing past those negative beliefs can feel like pushing a heavy bolder up a fucking mountain. It's a lot to take on by ourselves. That's why I made a simple little rule for myself in 2018 to ensure that I am constantly rejuvenating my spirit through impactful events. Each year, I challenge myself to go to a minimum of three career/personal development conferences. And I'm happy to declare that I've met this goal for the past two years.

Yesterday, I attended the Small Business Summit in NYC ( a conference for women, by women, designed to help us create the businesses and lifestyles we desire) by Create & Cultivate. Create & Cultivate has been one of my favorite career and personal development resources for the past few years. I actually attended another conference by the company back in May. But I loved how hyper-focused this event was. I walked away feeling so inspired and powerful.

In my opinion, there is nothing more vital to our sense of self-fulfillment than investing in ourselves. There were so many amazing pieces of advice shared during the event and I was able to connect with so many intelligent, creative, driven women. I left the conference feeling re-energized and excited to take action instead of letting my negative thoughts stop me in my tracks. But I wanted to share a few of my top take-aways from the event with you so you can feel recharged to. So here we go:

Lesson One: We are capable of giving ourselves everything we want.

We live in a time where technology allows us to have access to pretty much every tool and resource we need to make our dreams happen. Isn't that insane? Although there is definitely a dark side to being exposed to too much technology, past generations have never had access to so many people, sources of knowledge and global resources. We don't need to wait for anyone give us permission to do anything anymore. if you want to be a director, start making movies and publishing them on your own website or youtube. If you want to be a chef, start creating dishes and sharing them on social media. If you want to be an artist, start creating work in your free-time and sharing it with your community. We can teach ourselves almost anything to help us stand out in our desired industries. Like, damn, who knew that you and I were this freaking powerful?

Lesson Two: The road to success is going to be really uncomfortable, and you have to accept that if you want to win.

One of the Co-founders of Health-Ade spoke about how she was living on $300 a month and delivering her products in her own car while starting her business. But Now Health-Ade is in every bodega, grocery store and convenience store I go to. It just goes to show you that we really can survive the hardest times if we stay focused on our dreams and stay frugal/savvy.

Lesson Three: Execution is so much more important than the idea.

There's really no point in freaking out over competition or being in an "oversaturated market"... pretty much every single freaking market is oversaturated. Just focus on providing the most value, delivering the best product/service you possibly can, or developing the most vital skills in your industry to be a top employee.

Lesson Four: "Don't let yourself be stopped by disappointing outcomes" - Stacy London 

Stacy London and Sophia Bush shared incredible advice in the last panel of the summit. They both talked about a few heartbreaking failures they had experienced in their careers and how easy it is to give up once you experience the pain of disappointing yourself. The stressed how you have to learn how to constantly get back up off your ass after you cry and scream and eat ice-cream and learn how to solve your own problems because no one else will ever solve them for you. You are the only person who can change your life and your circumstances. They are both HUGE advocates for therapy and for finding a small tribe of friends who are like family to help you through the hard times. Living am extraordinary life will never be easy. Even if your version of extraordinary is living on a farm with your family, that's totally ok as long as it's what you actually want. But we are all going to face a ton of road blocks during this lifetime, but there's always something beautiful on the other side.

I hope these top take-aways help you boss up this week. I have a feeling we are all on the cusp of creating something magical in our lives. After all, autumn is the season of magic and wonder. What has been the biggest lesson you've learned this week? I'm excited to keep growing with you guys. Until next time my friend.



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Soul Food: My Biggest Take-Aways From the Small Business Summit 2019 That Apply To Every Part of Life

Survival Guide: What to do when a shitty job gets even shittier

June 5, 2019

Photo by Arnel Hasanovic

We’ve all been there. In that horrible mental place where we feel stuck, angry, depleted, emotionally drained, and those awful feelings are budding from a very significant place in your life… your day job. You’re living paycheck to paycheck, your boss refuses to give you the raise or promotion you deserve, you work insane hours with very little reward or maybe your job is just painfully dull and your boss is a tyrant. Regardless of your situation, pretty much everyone who has a traditional job started off shoveling shit for a living (metaphorically speaking of course). Oh, if only our professors in college had prepared us for how bleak, unfair and soul-crushing the corporate world could be, maybe we’d beat ourselves up less for going through these growing pains.
But here’s the thing, these growing pains are kind of inevitable. And, you bet your sweet ass this sucks right now, but complaining about how awful corporate America is, how shitty the pay is, or how completely mind-numbing your job is will not get you any closer to living an inspired life. You know what will? Taking action my friend, that will get us all closer to our dream lives. That’s why I’ve rounded up my personal tips, tricks, and action plan to elevate your career and your life. But since I’m still in the early stages of my career development, I’ve also rounded up some incredible resources from people way smarter than me with more experience in this subject. I hope these articles and tips will help you feel motivated to take just one action to make tomorrow better than today.
And just a quick reminder, all of the advice listed below might not be a great fit for you. Just take what feels right and leave the rest. Unless we win the lottery, we are not going to magically prosper overnight. It’s going to be a process full of hard work, mistakes, tears and, for me, a ton of wine, but we will get there as long as we get back up every time we get off track. And isn’t that why we are all here? To encourage each other and help each other focus on curating beautiful lives - I certainly hope so.


The Problem: I want to be paid my worth
How to change it: So my first step would be to ask for a raise or a promotion (which should come with a raise). If that request gets denied, and you’ve worked your butt off and deserve one, it’s time to start looking for another job my friend. But I once heard that you never want to run away from a job because you might be running right into a worse work situation. So in order to avoid accepting a job offer in an act of desperation, look into picking up a side hustle. Having a higher income will allow us to see our current job and any potential new jobs with a healthier perspective. Now that you’re not moving on to a new job just to pay the bills, you are buying yourself time to find a job you will actually like… now that sounds like a dream. And don’t worry, I’ve included some links regarding how to stay sane at your day job while you’re job hunting.
P.S. We will go into job hunting skills in another post - tbd.

16 Ways to Make a Lot of Money Without Another Full-Time Job or Degree

How to Ask for a Promotion (and Actually Get It)

How To Survive A Job You Hate (But Can't Leave – Yet)
The Problem: I want a more challenging and fulfilling job
How to change it: So there are two main options here. One, come up with a list of tasks and projects you would like to take on at work, put them into a neat little presentation, and pitch them to your boss. I happen to have an amazing boss who LOVES to hear all of our new ideas when it comes to growth and development… if you’re not that lucky - it’s time to look for a new job.

How To Stay Sane At The Job You Hate – From Women Who’ve Been There
The Problem: I need to work in a less toxic work environment
How to change it: So you’ve talked to HR and they didn’t do shit. You’re already job hunting. You have a list of 20-30 companies that you would love to work for, but what can you do in the meantime? My friend, you need to find a mentor who’s been in your shoes. This can be an internal mentor or you can use Bumble Bizz or Linkedin to connect with someone. You need an ally, and you need an outsider's perspective to remind you that this is a freaking temporary situation.

11 Tips For Staying Sane in a Toxic Work Environment
The Problem: I feel lost and don’t know what the f**k I want to do with my life
How to change it: Reflection. Reflecting, reading, researching and trying new things is literally the only way you’ll figure out what you want to do. If you don’t like reflecting because you hate the emotions that come with it, you honestly just have to suck it up and accept that you might cry during this exercise. But that pain will move us forward, so it’s completely worth it. You can always have a glass of wine (or 2) while you reflect and write out everything that interests you.
Resources
Listen to this (5-minute watch w/ Marie Forleo): How do I figure out what I want
And this (8-minute watch w/ Marie Forleo): Feeling Lost
Ted Talk: Refusing to Settle - The Quarter Life Crisis - 16-minute watch
Book Recommendation - You’re Not Lost
The Problem: I f***ing hate corporate America and want to run my own business
How to change it: It. Is. Time. To, Moonlight. Quitting your job until your side-hustle replaces your current source of income is non-negotiable unless you have a trust fund or live with someone else who's paying the bills. And even then, it’s pretty risky to quit your job and be financially dependent on someone else. Do you really want someone else to be in control of your future? I sure as hell don’t, so the daily grind continues and you wake up at the crack of dawn to work on your business before you head into work. And you add a 3rd shift to your day after you get home from the office and the gym. And you make a lot of sacrifices. This is the stage I am in, and I might be in this stage for a while.
I know successful entrepreneurs who also have day jobs because it’s a constant source of income. Running your own business means you don’t always get a paycheck each month. Maybe you want to keep your day job for a few years and just cut back on the hours you work. But if that sounds like a death sentence, then start working harder and smarter than you’ve ever worked before. Action is the only way any of us will be able to grow our businesses enough to sustain our lifestyles. Trust me, I’m eating my words as I type them. I have to step my game up and start taking my own freaking advice.
On Mental Wellness
One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that our businesses and our careers cannot successfully thrive if we don’t take care of our mental and physical health. If we neglect ourselves for a season, we might be able to get away with it. But if we neglect ourselves for too long, we will burn out and breakdown. So go ahead and add self-care to your daily to-do list while pursuing goals. It’s a  necessity.
Podcast (28-minute listen) Why you aren’t taking action

A Little Inspo (57-minute listen) SDH 268: Corporate America to Six-Figure Entrepreneur in Less than 4 Months with Julie Ciardi

SDH 304: How to Create Self-Discipline and Drive Within Yourself with Amanda Boleyn

And here are a few resources to deal with feeling down while job hunting

Let me know what your game plan is to create a better life for yourself in the comments below. And if you have any tips you’d like to share, please do!! We all need as much help as we can get. Sending you all the love and prosperity in the world my friend. Cheers to a brighter career, because your current job is just a stepping stone on your way to success. Until next time.


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Survival Guide: What to do when a shitty job gets even shittier

Weekend Reading: 12.15.18 Career Inspiration & More

December 15, 2018


Photo by Jakob Owens 

Hey there gang! We've almost made it towards Christmas Break! I'm so excited to visit home and not go into the office for the holidays. I'm sure you are too, so here are some things I've found around the web this week that I think you'll enjoy. Have a happy weekend my friend!




Weekly High
So the part of the week that stands out the most was having the honor of going to the private Christian Louboutin Sample Sale. Guys... it was AMAZING! Since I'm a 9.5, I can wear their 9.5 - 10.5 shoes and there were so many amazing options! The shoes were still an investment, but an investment that I've wanted for 10+ years. I only bought what I could pay in cash for, so I only got one pair of shoes... even though there are 2 more pairs I left behind that I keep thinking about. One of the pairs I keep thinking about are the ones I found for a friend... I feel like Gollum/Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings because I want the precious shoes!!! I know, I have a lot of issues, but I am who I am. Maybe next year I can manage to get invited again. According to the research I did before the sample sale (because I'm crazy and need to research everything/have a plan for everything, the a lot of retailers also feature sales for the glorious red sole heels for about 65% off during a summer sale. I'll link to some sales if I can find them on sale right now. It's the holidays so sales are bound to be popping up. Until then, here are some great places to find discounted luxury goods (because paying full price for anything is stupid lol)
  • Etsy 
  • The Real Real 
  • The Outnet
  • Poshmark
  • Bag Borrow Steal


Weekly Lows
Oh goodness, this was honestly a pretty low week for me. I was really upset about my career status, finances, weight, physical appearance and so much more this week... but I was mainly upset about my career and how far behind I allowed myself to get in my online class. I felt defeated and that led to a pity party, which led to skipping the gym 3 out of 4 days this week (but I did go on Friday night, so yay me!) Although I was mad at myself, I wasn't shaken to my core with thoughts of being an utter failure or launched into a manic depressive episode like I experienced for the first 3 quarters of the year... and that alone gives me SO MUCH FREAKING HOPE! The fact that I've put myself back in therapy and I'm developing the coping skills to push through these hard emotions and psychological and physiological reactions is an amazing confidence boost. Also, writing to you, for you, here on my own website is a major lifeline for me.

I feel happy, free and fulfilled when I write, dance, create, curate and solve problems. And I'm doing all of those things. I'm not doing them as frequently or consistently as I want to, but baby steps are just as important as big leaps. Life is a marathon after all, not a sprint. If you take anything from this message today, I hope it's this: you don't need to have it figured all out right now! You just need to do 3 things a day that moves you closer to your goal! Whether that's meal prepping to eat healthier and save money, budget, apply for 3 new jobs you'll actually enjoy, set aside 30 minutes today to figure out what you want to do with your life, sign up for an online course to master new skills, paint in order to nurture your soul, put on a face mask, clean your room or even just get out of bed (trust that the latter feels nearly impossible for me when I'm having really bad days), you're still making progress.

So I'm challenging you right fucking now, grab a pen and paper and write down 3 productive things you should do today that will move you towards your goals and feed your soul. I don't care how big or small they are. as long as you do those 3, your day has been successful. I did this exercise this morning (while using my amazing happiness planner - this is the only planner I've used for the past 2 years because it's the best planner I've ever had). My 3 were the following:
  1. start an application for a report part-time job (because I want to make a lot more money in 2019... like $15K more and it's gonna happen!)
  2. write this blog post
  3. finish Module 3 & 4 for my online course

Please share the three things you're going to commit to today below! That way we can cheer each other on while we move one step closer to creating our dream lives. No one else is going to give it to us. We have to make it on our own. Thank you for spending time with my thoughts today. I appreciate your support so much and I hope we can help each other on our journeys while we try to "make it' in the world. Lots of love my friend.





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Weekend Reading: 12.15.18 Career Inspiration & More

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