2020 Vision: Quotes to live by in the new year and new decade

December 22, 2019

Photo by Michael Fousert 

Every time I open my phone, I see a new post, article or meme encouraging me to start planning for the new year. And although I LOVE planning, I am feeling some resistance every time I sit down to reflect and set new goals. I know it's crucial for me to do so in order to keep building the life that I want. But if I'm being completely honest, there's a little voice that has been popping up in the back of my head, telling me that I'm not capable of achieving my dreams. I don't like that voice. I have to let those thoughts pass by me instead of indulging in them. But that little nagging sense of self-doubt has made it hard to actually sit down and plan for the next decade or figure out the distractions in my life that are making me miserable.

So I did what any socially savvy millennial would do. I turned to my favorite motivational IG accounts to help me transcend this anxiety and remind myself that I'm a queen who will have everything I want in due time. Goodness, I just need to take a deep breath and stop freaking myself out. I've included some of my favorite finds below; I hope these quotes help you feel more motivated and confident as we walk into this new decade. As long as we manage our anxiety and keep cultivating confidence, it's only a matter of time before we make our own dreams come true. Sending you all the love and joy this season. Your support means the world to me, and I never want you to forget that.

Quotes from: bossbabeinc, mindfulheart_, Life of a Single Girl

Time to prepare for a magical year and decade! 

Dressed to the Nines: Holiday Glamour Shop

December 19, 2019

Getting dressed up makes any day extra special. Although I will always love lounging around in my grey joggers/sweatpants, the holiday season usually provides multiple opportunities to get dressed up and celebrate. Between charity galas, work festivities, friendly gatherings and NYE, the chances to dress to the nines are abundant! And even if you don't feel like getting dressed up and being in a large crowd, it is just as much fun to dress up for an intimate date night at home or invite a few friends over for a dressy dinner party. No one can really judge you for going all out during this time of year. The holidays are meant to be celebrated, and we can do so in a financially responsible way. I rounded up a few holiday accessories and dresses that I have my eye on this holiday season, but tbh, I'll be wearing most of these pieces all winter long for any special occasion that comes my way. Cheers to celebrating the end of the year in style. And thanks for spending a little part of your day with me. Sending you all the love and in the world.

Glitz and Glam Accessories

Glitz and Glam Dresses

Happy Holidays

Mid Week Check-In & Favorite Finds

December 11, 2019

Holiday Tree
Photo by Rodolfo Marques 

We are one week closer to Christmas, and I am so excited for a much needed break from work. Although we just had Thanksgiving off, because I work in Fashion PR/Influencer Relations, I need to work a little bit every day (including weekends and holidays). To be honest, all of my team members work around the clock. Kind of the nature of the beast for the time being. So I am excited just to be out of the office for a little bit longer. I certainly feel like I'm on the verge of a big burn out, but it's nothing some much needed TLC can't solve.  In the meantime, I'm very blessed to have a happily balanced holiday social calendar with the right amount of holiday activities with friends but also enough solo time for me to work on my blog, set goals for the next decade (because fuck planning for just one year - that rarely works in my favor), reflect on the past year and come up with action plans to make major changes in my life! The system I have going now is not what I want to bring into 2020. Oy, there is a lot to do in the next following weeks. A lot of changes are happening rapidly, but life guarantees change. Nothing we can do but role with it and use it to make us more durable. I hope you can use these next few weeks to reflect as well. I think it's soooo important to make time to reflect, reset and realign with our priorities and values so we can cut out the stuff that doesn't work and add more of what we actually want in our lives. I'm excited to reflect and plan! Maybe it's my type A personality, but whatever. I am who I am. Anywho, below are a few things that stuck out to me on the world wide web this week. I hope you enjoy! 

  • Tis The Season: I really want to bake some holiday cookies! And drink wine and watch holiday movies :) 
  • Better Safe Than Sorry: This is an INSANE story of a girl who escaped a psycho who tried to hold her captive! This woman is so lucky to be alive but it's also a really important wake up call for why we should all put a little more thought into our actions, especially when it comes to a party or substance abuse culture. It might seem like fun and games all at first, but you never know how quickly something can escalate. This story confirmed my fear of why I have never done drugs and why I never plan to! 
  • Little Acts of Kindness: This is the cutest reaction ever! I totally want to do this for my local delivery people! 
  • Love Birds: This is for all my friends in relationships. I highly recommend listening to this episode about want matches. It's so fascinating and eye opening! I personally think this is something everyone should listen to if they want to take their relationship to the next level. 
  • Self-Love: The Art of Being Single - I really enjoyed this article. Being single during the holidays can induce more feelings of loneliness. Especially if most of your friends are in relationships, because being the 5th wheel is never fun. But I love how uplifting this article is. I like that the universe is essentially forcing me to focus on building a fulfilling life because I have so much time to focus on dance, pole, my blog and mapping out my career/side hustle path so I can make more money. I feel like that has been the biggest blessing of all this year... I just didn't realize it until now. 
  • And to piggy back off this topic, I also liked this article about refusing to be sad because we are single during the holidays. I have been pretty sad this holiday season, and at first I thought it was because I don't have an intimate relationships with anyone special... but then I had a really upsetting daydream where I completely relived visiting my dad in him coma every day during Christmas break back in 2014... and I was like "oh, I'm sad because I'm still grieving" and grief is something that never truly goes away. We just get better at learning to deal with it and channeling that pain into compassion for others. Which leads me to why I am LOVING Meghan Donovan's #SpreadKindnessSpreadJoy campaign. I get so happy reading what other people are doing to spread kindness this year. Please, please, please try to participate. If you can. I promise you, doing something nice for someone else is the fastest way to turn your day around! 
  • Clean Living: OH MY GOD!!! Please listen to this podcast about sustainable eating and the broken red meat industry!!! I love that they discuss the broken poultry industry as well. Luckily, I've never really been able to digest red meat, but I eat chicken and turkey every single damn day! I know it will be a costly expense, but I only want to eat sustainably raised chicken, turkey and (on the rare occasion) beef going forward. I have also been to the sustainable restaurant discussed in the podcast episode, and I can admit that I didn't feel sick after eating beef like I usually do! It was certainly more expensive... but all burgers in nyc are expensive, so I'm use to it. *chuckles and cries while looking at bank account
  • Shopping Addition Is NO Joke! This podcast episode is perfect for this holiday season. Obviously, I have struggled with this… a lot. I have turned to shopping to get a huge rush of adrenaline. But for this holiday season I've only purchased a few things that I truly, truly love. I did drop about 45 things in my shopping cart during the black friday sales... but I only ended up purchasing 2 dresses and 2 headbands! Can I get a round of applause for my restraint! I finally have a much better understanding and more self control, but I could have saved sooooo much money on dumb asss purchases if I had said no to frivolous things and yes to financial freedom (aka savings, investing, travel, etc). I have a long journey to clea
  • Get out of debt: I have an intense journey to clean up my mess from over spending, but it's one of my top 3 priorities for the next 36 months. I hope you make financial freedom one of yours too if you're in credit card debt or have student loans! We in this together fam! And ThisArticle Will Help Us Get There! 
  • Pop up holiday bars in NYC I want to check out! Thanks Meghan Donovan for sharing this link!

Thanks for taking a minute of your day to stop by my site. Your support means the world to me. Wishing you a magical season!

It's Freaking Cold But We Still Wanna Look Cute

November 28, 2019

Photo by Anna Utochkina

Why did it get frigid and rainy so soon? Fall, the most magical season of the year, lasted all of 5 minutes. And when it is cold outside, it's very hard to find the motivation to put effort into my outfits.  I'm not going to lie, I pretty much just want to wear leggings and baggy sweaters all day, every day when the weather is poo. Essentially, I'm gravitating towards looking like a sad potato for the rest of the year... but that's just my inner basic bitch alter ego trying to ruin my life. And I'm just not about to let that happen.

So I spent the past week experimenting with cute, cozy and easy outfit formulas to wear this winter. The weather is already brutal enough to put a damper on the day, so I am committed to adding a little bit of joy to each day by feeling cute. And I know that if I don't make it hella easy for myself, I'm not going to follow through with this goal. I hope this winter fashion cheatsheet makes feeling cute super easy for you this winter. If you're anything like me, you feel pretty confident when you look fabulous. I sourced the web for a few winter staples below (ranging from budget-friendly to high-quality and durable pieces), but I'm sure you can find most of these items in your closet if you're trying to save money. Also, All of these items are on sale for Black Friday at the moment, so you won't have to blow your budget!!

*All of these outfits are designed to look great with sneakers, booties, snow boots or the staple over-the-knee boot this season.

Outfit Two: Black Fleece-Lined Leggings + Wrap Sweater (or this cashmere one if you want to be fancy)
I feel so luxurious and regal whenever I wear a cashmere sweater. There's nothing wrong with adding a little bit of luxury into your everyday life.

Outfit Three: Sweater Dress + Thigh-High Tights or Thigh-High Socks+ Fashion Tape or  
I LOVE this outfit combo. But I do admit, it can be hard to find thigh-high tights that stay up by themselves. I've tried using double-sided tape but it rarely works. To achieve this sexy look, your best bet is to order fashion tape or a garter belt. I know garter belts are traditionally associated with lingerie, but who cares. It's your little secret. Plus here in NYC, people wear lingerie as part of their outfits all the time. I personally love this fashion element. It's fun to pair with more conservative pieces like an oversized, turtleneck sweater dress. Contrast always makes an outfit for interesting.

I've never believed in that stupid rule that you can't wear white after labor day.

Outfit Seven: Chunky Cropped Sweater + A-Lined Skirt + Tights

Thanks again for taking a moment to read this post. Your support means so much to me. I hope you look and feel fabulous this winter season. And I hope you take advantage of all the amazing sales this season... but like, only a reasonable amount.

P.S. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, so it's possible that I'll make like 5 cents if you make a purchase. Thank you for supporting my little corner of the internet.

Weekend Reads: Getting in the Holiday Spirit + Fun Weekly Finds

November 16, 2019

Photo by Osman Rana 

Is anyone else as excited about this holiday season and for 2020 to begin as I am? I don't know what caused this sudden shift in my attitude, because I have always been the type of person who doesn't want to start celebrating Christmas until after Thanksgiving. Because let's be honest, Black Friday is my ultimate weakness. But this year, there's something different in the air. My drastic stance on the Christmas before vs Christmas after Thanksgiving debate might be correlated with the drastic winter weather we are experiencing in the northeast. It got cold real freaking fast here. We had like 3 weeks of nice fall weather, and that was it. So instead of being sad that fall ended sp quickly, I'm just going to embrace all the winter holiday activities asap.

We had our Holiday Editor and Influencer event at work this week and that just sealed my fate. I'm in full holiday mode, and it feels freaking incredible. Christmas music makes me happy. Drinking hot chocolate while walking through all the holiday markets in NYC makes me happy. Watching all the painful cheesy, but somehow amazing Hallmark and Netflix holiday movies makes me happy. It's so easy to integrate simple and fun things into your day during the holiday season. I constantly talk about how I am on a mission to add more joy and fulfillment to my life. You know, make positive changes so I'm not miserable. And in my opinion, the holiday season offers so many low-key, yet rejuvenating activities that you can do solo or with friends, family and SOs. It's the perfect season to ignore all the commercial crap/societal pressures and learn what really matters to you. This is where I'll be focusing my attention for the rest of the year. I'm sure some of you can relate.

On My Radar 11.16.19

  • We partnered with popbar at our work event this week and it was amazing!!! There's a cute location right by West 4th St. in NYC. I'm planning to stop by soon, grab a cup and walk around West Village and look at all the holiday decor. 
  • Shopping Cart: Here are all the accessories I’m loving from work right now for the holidays!!

  • I’m copying this holiday makeup look from Ashley Brooke!! But tweaking it to fit my skin tone!
  • Menu: I want to make both of these dishes ASAP. I'm not going to lie; I'm pretty lazy when it comes to cooking but I also want to eat clean, budget-friendly meals. This walnut crusted salmon seems like the answer to my prayers. And this side dish just sounds incredible. 
  • I need this Zodiac necklace. Been wanting to invest in quality pendants because they are my favorite jewelry piece and my set from Madewell tarnished. Need a classic set 
  • So Cute!!! I want this Christmas themed Monopoly board game! I believe Carly the Prepster shared this and I was like "add to cart".
  • Charm School: What a cute post about being charming... but not in like a manipulative, sociopathic way. More of in a "spread kindness" kind of way.  
  • I think I’m more of a townhouse gal than a luxe condo girl… but I wouldn’t be mad about living in any of these luxury high-rises in NYC. Oy … one day haha.
  • Champagne Problems: I need to go to this new Champagne bar in NYC sooooo freaking soon! Champagne is my favorite. 
  • Financial food for freaking thought!! I love reading all the financial diaries that are so popular now. It's so fascinating and usually, I can learn from the smart money moves or financial mistakes of others.  
  • Boss Babe: It’s totally ok if we don’t have a clear career path. In fact, there are a lot of pros to it… thank goodness! 
Thanks for taking a moment to read this post! Your support means the world to me. Wishing you a day filled with love and joy! 

    Getting My S*** Together + November Mood Board

    November 10, 2019

    Photos: @ananewyork, linuslorentzen, lulus

    I am so excited for 2020 to begin. This whole year has been intense, but everyday, I feel like my relationship with myself gets stronger and stronger, I am able to spot my dysfunctional habits faster and faster, and I am learning that it's ok that I still feel like a complete and total mess. I'm a typical 25-year-old who is experiencing a quarter life crisis. It's kind of comical from afar. Laughing at myself is the fastest way for me calm the fuck down. I know there is so much to be grateful for and we are so lucky to live in America where we have the potential to create any life we please. Why waste time feeling sorry for ourselves for too long? 

    I've wondered what it's like to be one of those people who doesn't put a lot of pressure on themselves to constantly make drastic progress towards their goals. I can only imagine how freeing it must be to not beat yourself up for making mistakes and to have patience during the process. I am not naturally that fucking type of person. I don't think that kind of calmness will ever come naturally to me. But I can totally cultivate those mindful skills. Mistakes are inevitable, because we are human. Making mistakes isn't my issue, emotionally abusing myself after disappointing myself is. But now that I realize the secret to not being miserable isn't to avoid failure, it's to learn to be ok with stumbling over and over again. 

    All I've gotta do is break these habits (easier said than done). And that's just a matter of science my friend.  But I tend to go a little crazy during my Get My Shit Together binge sessions and try to clean up all the mess at once - then I burn myself out and end up making even more mess in my life. I'm not very great at taking the "slow and steady" route, but I realize that I have to master patience so I can stop being so fucking unhappy all the time. 

    And I know that admitting how unhappy I am is frowned upon. I only have a few friends who don't shame me for admitting this as well. Society isn't very great with handling honesty, is it? But the good news is, I'm actually fucking doing something about it. I know what I want, and I am committed to giving it to myself. I know you are too. Because I know we will fulfill our dreams... it might just take a little bit longer than we want, but we're learning to be ok with that. 

    We're not really in control of the timeline, even though I desperately want to be. As long as I show up and try my best, that's all I should ask from myself. And my best will vary from season to season. That's ok too. I'm checking out of this "rat-race" mentality. I might not be amazing at learning to relax or having faith is the process, but I'm getting better at trusting God's timeframe/the universe everyday. I'm on a long journey of healing; but hey, I might as well learn how to have more fun along the way.  

    As always, thanks so much for spending a moment to read this post. Your support means the world to me. Whether you find this post relatable or comical, I hope it added a little brightness into your day. Sending you lots of love my friend. 

    Luxe Lounge Pieces to Live Your Best Life in at Home

    October 27, 2019

    Items: One, Two, Three, Four, Five 

    I am fully aware that I have a taste for the boujeer things in life. Don't get me wrong, chicken fingers and $4 turkey burgers from the local bodega will always make me super happy, but when it comes to clothes, I like to have fun. Dressing up always makes me feel special, and dressing up in chic loungewear is one of my favorite pastimes. Let me paint the picture for you: Imagine, you wake up on a crisp fall Saturday. You slip on your fuzzy pink slippers, satin or silk robe and walk to your balcony tp sip on mimosa (or tea if you want to be healthy or some shit) and strawberries as you flip through a magazine. In my opinion, that is the ideal way to start any weekend.

    Honestly, this simple luxury is one of the most blissful things I do for myself. Life tends to fly by, so I firmly believe in adding a little bit of luxury to my life any chance I get while staying within my budget. You can feel like a queen without breaking the bank by adding a luxe ritual like this to your weekend schedule. I have a few of theses items in my shopping cart and plan to work this into my weekend morning routine a lot more often. It's nice to realize that we are capable of making each day feel special without a lot of effort. Cheers to the weekend my friend, and thank you for spending part of your day to read this post. I hope it inspires you to do something a little "extra" that will put a smile on your face.

    Luxe Lounge Pieces 
    Slippers & Socks

    Robes, PJs & Little Lacy Things 

    Soul Food: My Biggest Take-Aways From the Small Business Summit 2019 That Apply To Every Part of Life

    October 20, 2019

    I've been lucky enough to have always been surrounded by ambitious, creative people. Even as a kid, I was consistently in environments where people wanted to be the best versions of themselves and ferociously went after their dreams. I believe that growing up in positive environments like that helped me to believe that literally anything was possible. But as I've gotten older, life has thrown so many obstacles my way that have led me to seriously doubt myself in the past 3 years. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

     I love discussing my insecurities with my friends and learning to not be ashamed of them, but I also know that the only way to create the life we want is to learn how to overcome those mental roadblocks and get to fucking work. But pushing past those negative beliefs can feel like pushing a heavy bolder up a fucking mountain. It's a lot to take on by ourselves. That's why I made a simple little rule for myself in 2018 to ensure that I am constantly rejuvenating my spirit through impactful events. Each year, I challenge myself to go to a minimum of three career/personal development conferences. And I'm happy to declare that I've met this goal for the past two years.

    Yesterday, I attended the Small Business Summit in NYC ( a conference for women, by women, designed to help us create the businesses and lifestyles we desire) by Create & Cultivate. Create & Cultivate has been one of my favorite career and personal development resources for the past few years. I actually attended another conference by the company back in May. But I loved how hyper-focused this event was. I walked away feeling so inspired and powerful.

    In my opinion, there is nothing more vital to our sense of self-fulfillment than investing in ourselves. There were so many amazing pieces of advice shared during the event and I was able to connect with so many intelligent, creative, driven women. I left the conference feeling re-energized and excited to take action instead of letting my negative thoughts stop me in my tracks. But I wanted to share a few of my top take-aways from the event with you so you can feel recharged to. So here we go:

    Lesson One: We are capable of giving ourselves everything we want.

    We live in a time where technology allows us to have access to pretty much every tool and resource we need to make our dreams happen. Isn't that insane? Although there is definitely a dark side to being exposed to too much technology, past generations have never had access to so many people, sources of knowledge and global resources. We don't need to wait for anyone give us permission to do anything anymore. if you want to be a director, start making movies and publishing them on your own website or youtube. If you want to be a chef, start creating dishes and sharing them on social media. If you want to be an artist, start creating work in your free-time and sharing it with your community. We can teach ourselves almost anything to help us stand out in our desired industries. Like, damn, who knew that you and I were this freaking powerful?

    Lesson Two: The road to success is going to be really uncomfortable, and you have to accept that if you want to win.

    One of the Co-founders of Health-Ade spoke about how she was living on $300 a month and delivering her products in her own car while starting her business. But Now Health-Ade is in every bodega, grocery store and convenience store I go to. It just goes to show you that we really can survive the hardest times if we stay focused on our dreams and stay frugal/savvy.

    Lesson Three: Execution is so much more important than the idea.

    There's really no point in freaking out over competition or being in an "oversaturated market"... pretty much every single freaking market is oversaturated. Just focus on providing the most value, delivering the best product/service you possibly can, or developing the most vital skills in your industry to be a top employee.

    Lesson Four: "Don't let yourself be stopped by disappointing outcomes" - Stacy London 

    Stacy London and Sophia Bush shared incredible advice in the last panel of the summit. They both talked about a few heartbreaking failures they had experienced in their careers and how easy it is to give up once you experience the pain of disappointing yourself. The stressed how you have to learn how to constantly get back up off your ass after you cry and scream and eat ice-cream and learn how to solve your own problems because no one else will ever solve them for you. You are the only person who can change your life and your circumstances. They are both HUGE advocates for therapy and for finding a small tribe of friends who are like family to help you through the hard times. Living am extraordinary life will never be easy. Even if your version of extraordinary is living on a farm with your family, that's totally ok as long as it's what you actually want. But we are all going to face a ton of road blocks during this lifetime, but there's always something beautiful on the other side.

    I hope these top take-aways help you boss up this week. I have a feeling we are all on the cusp of creating something magical in our lives. After all, autumn is the season of magic and wonder. What has been the biggest lesson you've learned this week? I'm excited to keep growing with you guys. Until next time my friend.

    My Go-To Fall Uniforms: Chic and Easy Fall Outfits

    October 6, 2019

    Photo by Emma Matthews Content Production 

    2019 has gone by way faster than I would prefer, but when does life ever go as planned? At least it finally fall! The crisp air, sunny walks, cozy fires, camping, layered fashion, al fresco dinners, beautiful foliage... uh, fall activities are so incredible. I love how active we can be without sweating to death. And we can look cute without sweating through our outfits, so it's no surprise that I love fall. I love wearing nice outfits, but I hate spending a lot of time getting ready. So I kind of gravitate towards a few tried and true outfit formulas each fall.

    Uniform Number One: Plaid Mini Skirt + Chunky Sweater

    I love how sexy and chic, yet relaxed this combo is. You get to be cozy while showing some leg during these cooler months. When the weather starts to cool down, I always pair mini skirts with taller socks or even knee-high socks. This adds an even sexier element to the outfit while still keeping you warm and fashionable.

    Uniform Number Two: Blazer + Mini Skirt/Dress, Shorts or Ripped Jeans 

    To me, this outfit screams "I'm a posh,  bad bitch," and that is ALWAYS a vibe I will gravitate towards. Whenever I wear this tried and true uniform, I feel like Victoria Beckham. If I want a dressier look, I will pair this outfit with sleek heels or tall booties. If I'm planning on walking a lot, I'll wear with black or white sneakers. Either way, this outfit formula gives me a huge rush of confidence. I always feel so powerful and put together in a blazer...even if my life is kind of a shit show IRL.

    Uniform Number Three: Leggings + Basic Crop Tee + Booties (or chic sneakers) + Statement Trench or Wool Coat

    If I want to feel like I'm wearing PJs all day but still wear a powerful outfit, this is my ideal get-up for the day. I love leggings, especially thick, high-quality ones that keep me warm and shape my butt. Although this outfit formula sounds beyond basic and extremely boring at first glance, once you pair these items with a cool trench coat or a fun wool coat, this outfit becomes a show stopper. I gravitate towards classic pieces that have been updated with unexpected twists. I recently got a blue, piped trench from Talbots and it's one of my favorite pieces for the season (it was on sale the other week, so I'm sure it will go on sale again). Adding a trench coat in an unexpected color or fabric is a great way to add a little fun to your wardrobe. I also LOVE the yellow wool coat I got last year from a sample sale at work. I really don't believe a fall wardrobe is complete without a great wool coat. They are so chic and warm but not heavy to walk around in. They are perfect for southern falls where the season is typically relatively warm compared to the north.

    I hope these outfit formulas help you easily get dressed this season and help you feel confident every time you step out the door. I am a firm believer that putting time and effort into how we present ourselves to the world helps us feel good about ourselves. Obviously, wearing a cute outfit is not the magic pill to never feeling horrid again, but it is a great way to prove to yourself that you care about yourself and want the best for yourself. Whenever I show up for myself in this way, I always have an extra surge of energy flowing through me for the day. I hope these outfits do the same for you. What outfits do you wear on repeat in the fall that also helps
    you feel put together? I'd love for you to share below! And thank you for spending time to read my blog! I hope you have an incredible day. Until next time my friend.

    Sunday Reads:How I'm Overcoming a Negative Mindset + Weekly Finds

    September 29, 2019

    Photo by Oscar Nord 

    I'm starting to realize more and more each week that our attitudes can truly make or break our levels of happiness each day. Obviously, this is a "wise piece of advice" that we've all heard so many times. We just roll our eyes whenever some talks about the importance of attitude in a ted talk, podcast or we see an inspirational quote about it. I admit, I was stubborn for a very long time and didn't want to put in the effort to truly fix my attitude. It requires so much effort to stay positive and to manage our thoughts! We have so many of them every day, and honestly, most of my thoughts have been pretty freaking negative for most of 2019.

    I felt like my circumstance should change first, and then I'll be more positive after I get "what I deserve," whatever that even means. After all, I work my butt off and put in a lot of effort in so many areas of my life, so where the fuck is the pay-off? This has been my train of thought. And I've spent a lot of time being angry, hostile and upset... but that really isn't working for me anymore. As I sat on my balcony, writing this post, something just clicked in my head. No, my life isn't anywhere near as put together as I would like for it to be. But repeating this cycle of having a great breakthrough, then having a setback, and then being disappointed in myself for not staying on track every single freaking day without accounting for the fact that I'm human and will always make mistakes is putting me in such a funk week after week. Do you see how self-destructive that train of thought is?

    I've also been struggling with thinking that external circumstances will totally change my life and solve all of my problems. Once I make more money, find the right loving partner, grow my business, travel more, save more money, pay off all my debt, send more money home to help with my brother's insane medical bills, put more effort into my looks, get a dog, then I'll finally be happy. But once again, this is a toxic mentality to have because after I achieve all of this, I'll just have more goals and different problems. Why? Because problems are forever. Discomfort will always be a part of our lives, so I should stop trying to "fix all my problems" in such a neurotic manner. Like why do I crave instant gratification so much? I guess that's a topic for my therapist and me to dive into in October.

    Will I ever stop pursuing my goals and dreams? Hell no! I think having something to strive for makes life sooo much more meaningful, but I am ready to change my attitude and stop resisting the fact that life will always have uncomfortable circumstances as we navigate adulthood. Dating in 2019 is fucking uncomfortable. Achieving more in our careers is fucking uncomfortable. Nurturing a mature and healthy, romantic relationship requires a lot of sacrifices, which is fucking uncomfortable. Getting out of debt is fucking uncomfortable... you get the point.

    But also, changing our mindset is uncomfortable. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done because I have to work so hard at it, like every single fucking day, oy. But there's nothing else I'd rather put my energy into because if my mind isn't right, I'm so miserable and depressed. And when I get in a really dark space, it's hard for me to function, even on the smallest level. This is why I spend so much time listening to podcasts, reading self-help/career books and going to my dance classes and workout classes. I also understand that as life gets more and more stressful, I have to add more things to my wellness routine ie., reading more, writing and journaling more, creating more, exploring new neighborhoods and towns more, SAVING MORE MONEY, going to more cultural and networking events, dating myself more and spending more time in nature. Essentially, I have to take care of myself even when I'm exhausted and want to stay in bed all day. And you do too, booboo.

    I hope you set aside 10 minutes today to make a small list of the most impactful activities you should add to your weekly routine to help you recharge. Maybe you spend your Friday nights having an at-home spa night instead of going out drinking. Maybe you go to Hobby Lobby or Michael's and pick up a few crafts to start working on. Maybe you set a weekly reminder to go read, paint or draw in the park for 30 minutes every Sunday. IDGAF what you add to your list, as long as it doesn't cost a lot of money and it helps you feel energized. It's ok if you only have one thing on your list for now, but as you start to prioritize your spiritual wellness more, you'll discover more activities that make you feel warm and giddy inside.

    We can't keep overdrinking, overspending or overeating to avoid our utter misery - things I've been doing every freaking weekend this month, and these toxic patterns have been throwing me so off-balance. I'd rather accept that I have a lot of work and growth ahead of me, and that's not something I should feel ashamed about anymore. More money, a meaningful relationship, financial freedom and the ability to help my family navigate the insane health issue that has changed my brother's life will enter my life at the right time. In the meantime, I'll train myself to appreciate navigating these uncomfortable seasons, because once I conquer this season, I truly believe I'll be an unstoppable force and will be able to contribute to making the world a much better place.  I have a feeling you'll be an unstoppable force too.

    Woo; ok! Thanks for listening to my soap opera today. Now, here are a few things I've seen around the web lately that I think are worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy, and I hope you realize how much your support means to me! We are so going to make the rest of 2019 our bitch and add so much magic to our lives.

    Favorite Finds and Links of the Week

    Weekend Agenda: 3 Things to do this weekend to reset

    September 14, 2019

    Photo by JOHN TOWNER

    So I have a confession. I used to be one of those people who felt hella anxious if I didn't have weekend plans when I first moved to NYC. I felt like such a loser if I didn't have a packed social schedule. Maybe it's because I went to a hyper-social college and was constantly surrounded by sorority sisters and friends. There was always something to do, but more importantly, there was always someone around to hang out with. Literally, always.

    So the transition to post-college life was a little daunting. I was lucky enough to find an amazing crew a few weeks after moving to New York, but now that we are all hustling and grinding in our careers, building romantic relationships or moving to other cities, it's a lot harder to hang out. Aka, that means I have a lot more alone time. And it's taken me a while to appreciate this surplus of alone time. But now I realize how vital it is for me to spend time alone to recharge. Although I totally get a lot of energy from connecting with people, I also need a lot of time alone to reset and not feel drained.

    It's funny how I used to be a hardcore extrovert in college. I could go, go,go! I was a freaking energizer bunny. I thrived from being around large groups and loud energy. But now that I work a full-time job, take dance and pole classes, work on my blog and want to accomplish like 50 other things this year, I find myself fucking exhausted at the end of each workday. And I don't like it.

    I want to have the energy to come home and read for 30 minutes before bed. I want to have enough energy to wake up at 5:30 am, do a quick yoga routine and work on my blog for an hour before work. I want to have enough energy to paint my nails when I'm sitting on the couch catching up on my favorite shows. And I think I've finally figured out why I don't have as much energy as I'd like after work.

    It's because I don't take time to recharge properly on the weekend. Although I LOVE hanging out with my friends in Manhattan and Brooklyn, spending all of my time in the city on the weekends isn't great for my wellbeing. I need time to myself to work on all of my goals and to do things that inspire me. So now, I kind of look forward to not having a lot of plans on the weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally still a huge social butterfly, but I also need to be better about knowing when to say no to plans and just do me. So I'm sharing a shortlist of three things I'm doing this weekend to get my mind right and slow down.

    My Weekend Reset Roadmap

    1. Put together my vision/aspiration corkboard. This has been on my to-do list for so freaking long. I am really motivated by inspiring photos, patterns, and affirmational words. So having a constant visual reminder of why I'm working hard and eating "sh*t sandwiches" each week is a huge source of energy for me.

    2. Cleaning my freaking room.... and keeping it clean all week long. I thrive when I am surrounded by a beautiful and clean atmosphere. But I've noticed that I'll clean my room one night of the week, and then it's a train wreck the next day. And it stays a train wreck for the rest of the week. Why does it stay messy and distracting? Because I'm always too tired at the end of the day to tidy up. This is a terrible habit I've recently developed and I hate it. So I'm changing it. And I'm going to hold myself accountable by dedicating just 10 minutes every morning and every evening to tidy up. I pre-set an alarm so I feel obligated to follow through, and if I don't, I'll feel guilty. Since I despise feeling guilty, I will be more inclined to follow through with this goal.

    Photo by Julian Hochgesang 

    3. I'm going to spend a minimum of 30 minutes reading on my balcony with a glass of coffee or tea each day during the weekend. Depending on my schedule, I'll do this in the evening or in the morning. Now that it's cooling off a little bit, I'll be able to enjoy my outdoor space without sweating to death.

    Photo by Ellieelien 

    Ah, I'm so excited just writing about these plans! I love how much healthier my relationship with myself is becoming. Literally two years ago, I would have had a pity party for myself from the thought of too much solitude, but now. I can't wait to spend some quality alone time with myself! What are some of your favorite things to do in your "me time" to hit the reset button? Let me know below! After all, variety is the spice of life, so adding new things to our routines will help keep us inspired. Thanks again for reading this post and supporting me! Sending you lots of love, and I hope you have an amazing weekend!! 

    Dating Diaries: Dealing with Disappointment

    September 10, 2019

    Photo by: John Parkinson

    Oh boy, dating in 2019 is... exhausting. Or at least it can be if we set high expectations or just run into one too many disrespectful guys on dating apps. I know I've been freaking exhausted from dating apps for the past few months. I've constantly deleted and re-downloaded a few apps out of frustration or because the bland conversations just annoyed me. 

    And I'm not going to lie; I've dealt with a ton of disappointment this year in my dating life. But I've finally reached a place where I have accepted that disappointment is a part of life.  And guess what, it's a part of life that will never kill us, so why have I been so terrified of it? 

    I definitely go through cycles of not giving two f***s about dating and being irritated that I haven't met someone to build a meaningful life with yet. Sometimes this cycle happens all in the same day. Luckily, I have soooo many other exciting and challenging things to focus on in my life that dating isn't my top priority anymore. Although I will never give up on the idea of romantic love, I'm learning how to quickly bounce back from disappointment and to re-shift my focus to more important things within the hour every time I feel pessimistic about my dating life. 

    But tbh, this was an EXTREMELY hard place to reach. Like real hard. I had to spend a lot of time working on my mindset in regards to how much effort to put into dating. I used to put a ton of effort in, but that is kind of wasted energy for me. But hey, old habits die hard. I know I'll have slip-ups, but I'm proud of myself for finally learning how to deprioritize dating and learning how to bounce back a lot faster from dating disappointments than I was able to just a few months ago. 

    Its amazing how much progress we can make in a short amount of time if we cultivate the right mindset. 

    If you're familiar with my more personal posts, you already know that dedicate a ton of time to self-growth and seeking out ways to help me overcome all the dating woes that kept me up at night in the past. I guess you could call all my failed dating experiences research. I don't know why it took me so long to intrinsically believe and understand the lessons below, but it did. Oh well. We all have our own process. Although I had to learn these lessons painfully (well there're studies to back up how adults learn lessons through pain, so maybe I can blame biology), but I'm glad I did experience them. I feel so durable now, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Here are some of the lessons I've learned over the past year - and luckily these lessons can apply to pretty much every area of your life, but especially apply to dating/relationships in the modern age of "swiping for love".

    Lessons I've Learned In 2019
    • Set your boundaries and focus on creating a life you are actually happy about because no one else will give that to you. Relationships should add to your life, not fill a void or hole. 
    • Knowing how to self soothe is the only way to become stronger. 
    • Set strong boundaries (and sticking to them) is the best way to avoid dating drama or pain. 
    • No one has ever fucking died from being disappointed, so chill. There are plenty of fish in the sea ;) 
    • Stop putting guys on pedestals (thanks Actual Black Mermaid for this clarity). I’m over this for sure. I’m looking at people’s actions and not their words or their texts. Seeing clearer and knowing exactly what I’m getting myself into is the key to success. 
    • Taking a break from dating apps is necessary if I'm just starting to feel frustrated by them. If it's not a fun experience, I'm not spending my time on them.  
    • I keep letting myself down by having high expectations and getting invested in people who don’t invest back and who really aren't that special. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but no one can be special/meaningful in my life until we've built a strong bond/connection- and that takes a long time to develop. So no more of that! 
    I also wanted to share a few incredible resources that have helped me along my journey. 

    My biggest take-away - it’s not about me. I should get over my ego because I have no idea what’s going on in their lives behind the scenes.

    Actual Black Mermaid

    My biggest take-aways:
    • Don’t get hyper attached to someone you barely know.
    • Loss is expansion!!! The fewer distractions and less energy you spend on the wrong people, toxic jobs and bad habits in your life, the more room there is for the things that actually should be in your life. 

    My biggest take-away:
    • If you feel yourself settling, you should step back and focus on yourself. Work on your self-confidence and re-evaluate why you even want a relationship. Relationships should thrive on a want-base, not a need base. Being co-dependent isn’t cute and doesn’t help you grow into your strongest self! 
    I really believe that writing out a list of things to focus on instead of dating is a powerful way to stay on track in life, so here is my list!

    • Building a business I love
    • Creating digital and physical content/products that I'm proud of
    • Paying off my student loans!!!
    • Volunteering my time to causes I'm passionate about 
    • Traveling home to visit my family more often 
    • Building wealth and investing
    • Making enough money from an exciting and positively challenging job that allows me to live the lifestyle I want to in the NYC area 
    • Mastering new pole dancing tricks/flows 
    • Mastering new choreographed routines in my traditional dance classes  
    • Saving enough money to get a dog
    • Traveling the world with friends 
    • Learning to speak french 
    • Mastering intense cooking dishes 
    • Expanding my personal and professional network 
    • Reading more 
    • Adding more luxury investment pieces to my wardrobe
    This list could go on for a long time, but these are some of the things I'm pursuing at the moment. 

     I hope you share your list below. And thank you so much for supporting my site and reading this post. I love you so much more than you know. Sending you all the love you deserve. Cheers to creating the lives of our dreams. 

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