Weekend Reads: Getting in the Holiday Spirit + Fun Weekly Finds

November 16, 2019

Photo by Osman Rana 

Is anyone else as excited about this holiday season and for 2020 to begin as I am? I don't know what caused this sudden shift in my attitude, because I have always been the type of person who doesn't want to start celebrating Christmas until after Thanksgiving. Because let's be honest, Black Friday is my ultimate weakness. But this year, there's something different in the air. My drastic stance on the Christmas before vs Christmas after Thanksgiving debate might be correlated with the drastic winter weather we are experiencing in the northeast. It got cold real freaking fast here. We had like 3 weeks of nice fall weather, and that was it. So instead of being sad that fall ended sp quickly, I'm just going to embrace all the winter holiday activities asap.

We had our Holiday Editor and Influencer event at work this week and that just sealed my fate. I'm in full holiday mode, and it feels freaking incredible. Christmas music makes me happy. Drinking hot chocolate while walking through all the holiday markets in NYC makes me happy. Watching all the painful cheesy, but somehow amazing Hallmark and Netflix holiday movies makes me happy. It's so easy to integrate simple and fun things into your day during the holiday season. I constantly talk about how I am on a mission to add more joy and fulfillment to my life. You know, make positive changes so I'm not miserable. And in my opinion, the holiday season offers so many low-key, yet rejuvenating activities that you can do solo or with friends, family and SOs. It's the perfect season to ignore all the commercial crap/societal pressures and learn what really matters to you. This is where I'll be focusing my attention for the rest of the year. I'm sure some of you can relate.

On My Radar 11.16.19

  • We partnered with popbar at our work event this week and it was amazing!!! There's a cute location right by West 4th St. in NYC. I'm planning to stop by soon, grab a cup and walk around West Village and look at all the holiday decor. 
  • Shopping Cart: Here are all the accessories I’m loving from work right now for the holidays!!

  • I’m copying this holiday makeup look from Ashley Brooke!! But tweaking it to fit my skin tone!
  • Menu: I want to make both of these dishes ASAP. I'm not going to lie; I'm pretty lazy when it comes to cooking but I also want to eat clean, budget-friendly meals. This walnut crusted salmon seems like the answer to my prayers. And this side dish just sounds incredible. 
  • I need this Zodiac necklace. Been wanting to invest in quality pendants because they are my favorite jewelry piece and my set from Madewell tarnished. Need a classic set 
  • So Cute!!! I want this Christmas themed Monopoly board game! I believe Carly the Prepster shared this and I was like "add to cart".
  • Charm School: What a cute post about being charming... but not in like a manipulative, sociopathic way. More of in a "spread kindness" kind of way.  
  • I think I’m more of a townhouse gal than a luxe condo girl… but I wouldn’t be mad about living in any of these luxury high-rises in NYC. Oy … one day haha.
  • Champagne Problems: I need to go to this new Champagne bar in NYC sooooo freaking soon! Champagne is my favorite. 
  • Financial food for freaking thought!! I love reading all the financial diaries that are so popular now. It's so fascinating and usually, I can learn from the smart money moves or financial mistakes of others.  
  • Boss Babe: It’s totally ok if we don’t have a clear career path. In fact, there are a lot of pros to it… thank goodness! 
Thanks for taking a moment to read this post! Your support means the world to me. Wishing you a day filled with love and joy! 

    Getting My S*** Together + November Mood Board

    November 10, 2019

    Photos: @ananewyork, linuslorentzen, lulus

    I am so excited for 2020 to begin. This whole year has been intense, but everyday, I feel like my relationship with myself gets stronger and stronger, I am able to spot my dysfunctional habits faster and faster, and I am learning that it's ok that I still feel like a complete and total mess. I'm a typical 25-year-old who is experiencing a quarter life crisis. It's kind of comical from afar. Laughing at myself is the fastest way for me calm the fuck down. I know there is so much to be grateful for and we are so lucky to live in America where we have the potential to create any life we please. Why waste time feeling sorry for ourselves for too long? 

    I've wondered what it's like to be one of those people who doesn't put a lot of pressure on themselves to constantly make drastic progress towards their goals. I can only imagine how freeing it must be to not beat yourself up for making mistakes and to have patience during the process. I am not naturally that fucking type of person. I don't think that kind of calmness will ever come naturally to me. But I can totally cultivate those mindful skills. Mistakes are inevitable, because we are human. Making mistakes isn't my issue, emotionally abusing myself after disappointing myself is. But now that I realize the secret to not being miserable isn't to avoid failure, it's to learn to be ok with stumbling over and over again. 

    All I've gotta do is break these habits (easier said than done). And that's just a matter of science my friend.  But I tend to go a little crazy during my Get My Shit Together binge sessions and try to clean up all the mess at once - then I burn myself out and end up making even more mess in my life. I'm not very great at taking the "slow and steady" route, but I realize that I have to master patience so I can stop being so fucking unhappy all the time. 

    And I know that admitting how unhappy I am is frowned upon. I only have a few friends who don't shame me for admitting this as well. Society isn't very great with handling honesty, is it? But the good news is, I'm actually fucking doing something about it. I know what I want, and I am committed to giving it to myself. I know you are too. Because I know we will fulfill our dreams... it might just take a little bit longer than we want, but we're learning to be ok with that. 

    We're not really in control of the timeline, even though I desperately want to be. As long as I show up and try my best, that's all I should ask from myself. And my best will vary from season to season. That's ok too. I'm checking out of this "rat-race" mentality. I might not be amazing at learning to relax or having faith is the process, but I'm getting better at trusting God's timeframe/the universe everyday. I'm on a long journey of healing; but hey, I might as well learn how to have more fun along the way.  

    As always, thanks so much for spending a moment to read this post. Your support means the world to me. Whether you find this post relatable or comical, I hope it added a little brightness into your day. Sending you lots of love my friend. 

    Luxe Lounge Pieces to Live Your Best Life in at Home

    October 27, 2019

    Items: One, Two, Three, Four, Five 

    I am fully aware that I have a taste for the boujeer things in life. Don't get me wrong, chicken fingers and $4 turkey burgers from the local bodega will always make me super happy, but when it comes to clothes, I like to have fun. Dressing up always makes me feel special, and dressing up in chic loungewear is one of my favorite pastimes. Let me paint the picture for you: Imagine, you wake up on a crisp fall Saturday. You slip on your fuzzy pink slippers, satin or silk robe and walk to your balcony tp sip on mimosa (or tea if you want to be healthy or some shit) and strawberries as you flip through a magazine. In my opinion, that is the ideal way to start any weekend.

    Honestly, this simple luxury is one of the most blissful things I do for myself. Life tends to fly by, so I firmly believe in adding a little bit of luxury to my life any chance I get while staying within my budget. You can feel like a queen without breaking the bank by adding a luxe ritual like this to your weekend schedule. I have a few of theses items in my shopping cart and plan to work this into my weekend morning routine a lot more often. It's nice to realize that we are capable of making each day feel special without a lot of effort. Cheers to the weekend my friend, and thank you for spending part of your day to read this post. I hope it inspires you to do something a little "extra" that will put a smile on your face.

    Luxe Lounge Pieces 
    Slippers & Socks

    Robes, PJs & Little Lacy Things 

    Soul Food: My Biggest Take-Aways From the Small Business Summit 2019 That Apply To Every Part of Life

    October 20, 2019

    I've been lucky enough to have always been surrounded by ambitious, creative people. Even as a kid, I was consistently in environments where people wanted to be the best versions of themselves and ferociously went after their dreams. I believe that growing up in positive environments like that helped me to believe that literally anything was possible. But as I've gotten older, life has thrown so many obstacles my way that have led me to seriously doubt myself in the past 3 years. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

     I love discussing my insecurities with my friends and learning to not be ashamed of them, but I also know that the only way to create the life we want is to learn how to overcome those mental roadblocks and get to fucking work. But pushing past those negative beliefs can feel like pushing a heavy bolder up a fucking mountain. It's a lot to take on by ourselves. That's why I made a simple little rule for myself in 2018 to ensure that I am constantly rejuvenating my spirit through impactful events. Each year, I challenge myself to go to a minimum of three career/personal development conferences. And I'm happy to declare that I've met this goal for the past two years.

    Yesterday, I attended the Small Business Summit in NYC ( a conference for women, by women, designed to help us create the businesses and lifestyles we desire) by Create & Cultivate. Create & Cultivate has been one of my favorite career and personal development resources for the past few years. I actually attended another conference by the company back in May. But I loved how hyper-focused this event was. I walked away feeling so inspired and powerful.

    In my opinion, there is nothing more vital to our sense of self-fulfillment than investing in ourselves. There were so many amazing pieces of advice shared during the event and I was able to connect with so many intelligent, creative, driven women. I left the conference feeling re-energized and excited to take action instead of letting my negative thoughts stop me in my tracks. But I wanted to share a few of my top take-aways from the event with you so you can feel recharged to. So here we go:

    Lesson One: We are capable of giving ourselves everything we want.

    We live in a time where technology allows us to have access to pretty much every tool and resource we need to make our dreams happen. Isn't that insane? Although there is definitely a dark side to being exposed to too much technology, past generations have never had access to so many people, sources of knowledge and global resources. We don't need to wait for anyone give us permission to do anything anymore. if you want to be a director, start making movies and publishing them on your own website or youtube. If you want to be a chef, start creating dishes and sharing them on social media. If you want to be an artist, start creating work in your free-time and sharing it with your community. We can teach ourselves almost anything to help us stand out in our desired industries. Like, damn, who knew that you and I were this freaking powerful?

    Lesson Two: The road to success is going to be really uncomfortable, and you have to accept that if you want to win.

    One of the Co-founders of Health-Ade spoke about how she was living on $300 a month and delivering her products in her own car while starting her business. But Now Health-Ade is in every bodega, grocery store and convenience store I go to. It just goes to show you that we really can survive the hardest times if we stay focused on our dreams and stay frugal/savvy.

    Lesson Three: Execution is so much more important than the idea.

    There's really no point in freaking out over competition or being in an "oversaturated market"... pretty much every single freaking market is oversaturated. Just focus on providing the most value, delivering the best product/service you possibly can, or developing the most vital skills in your industry to be a top employee.

    Lesson Four: "Don't let yourself be stopped by disappointing outcomes" - Stacy London 

    Stacy London and Sophia Bush shared incredible advice in the last panel of the summit. They both talked about a few heartbreaking failures they had experienced in their careers and how easy it is to give up once you experience the pain of disappointing yourself. The stressed how you have to learn how to constantly get back up off your ass after you cry and scream and eat ice-cream and learn how to solve your own problems because no one else will ever solve them for you. You are the only person who can change your life and your circumstances. They are both HUGE advocates for therapy and for finding a small tribe of friends who are like family to help you through the hard times. Living am extraordinary life will never be easy. Even if your version of extraordinary is living on a farm with your family, that's totally ok as long as it's what you actually want. But we are all going to face a ton of road blocks during this lifetime, but there's always something beautiful on the other side.

    I hope these top take-aways help you boss up this week. I have a feeling we are all on the cusp of creating something magical in our lives. After all, autumn is the season of magic and wonder. What has been the biggest lesson you've learned this week? I'm excited to keep growing with you guys. Until next time my friend.

    My Go-To Fall Uniforms: Chic and Easy Fall Outfits

    October 6, 2019

    Photo by Emma Matthews Content Production 

    2019 has gone by way faster than I would prefer, but when does life ever go as planned? At least it finally fall! The crisp air, sunny walks, cozy fires, camping, layered fashion, al fresco dinners, beautiful foliage... uh, fall activities are so incredible. I love how active we can be without sweating to death. And we can look cute without sweating through our outfits, so it's no surprise that I love fall. I love wearing nice outfits, but I hate spending a lot of time getting ready. So I kind of gravitate towards a few tried and true outfit formulas each fall.

    Uniform Number One: Plaid Mini Skirt + Chunky Sweater

    I love how sexy and chic, yet relaxed this combo is. You get to be cozy while showing some leg during these cooler months. When the weather starts to cool down, I always pair mini skirts with taller socks or even knee-high socks. This adds an even sexier element to the outfit while still keeping you warm and fashionable.

    Uniform Number Two: Blazer + Mini Skirt/Dress, Shorts or Ripped Jeans 

    To me, this outfit screams "I'm a posh,  bad bitch," and that is ALWAYS a vibe I will gravitate towards. Whenever I wear this tried and true uniform, I feel like Victoria Beckham. If I want a dressier look, I will pair this outfit with sleek heels or tall booties. If I'm planning on walking a lot, I'll wear with black or white sneakers. Either way, this outfit formula gives me a huge rush of confidence. I always feel so powerful and put together in a blazer...even if my life is kind of a shit show IRL.

    Uniform Number Three: Leggings + Basic Crop Tee + Booties (or chic sneakers) + Statement Trench or Wool Coat

    If I want to feel like I'm wearing PJs all day but still wear a powerful outfit, this is my ideal get-up for the day. I love leggings, especially thick, high-quality ones that keep me warm and shape my butt. Although this outfit formula sounds beyond basic and extremely boring at first glance, once you pair these items with a cool trench coat or a fun wool coat, this outfit becomes a show stopper. I gravitate towards classic pieces that have been updated with unexpected twists. I recently got a blue, piped trench from Talbots and it's one of my favorite pieces for the season (it was on sale the other week, so I'm sure it will go on sale again). Adding a trench coat in an unexpected color or fabric is a great way to add a little fun to your wardrobe. I also LOVE the yellow wool coat I got last year from a sample sale at work. I really don't believe a fall wardrobe is complete without a great wool coat. They are so chic and warm but not heavy to walk around in. They are perfect for southern falls where the season is typically relatively warm compared to the north.

    I hope these outfit formulas help you easily get dressed this season and help you feel confident every time you step out the door. I am a firm believer that putting time and effort into how we present ourselves to the world helps us feel good about ourselves. Obviously, wearing a cute outfit is not the magic pill to never feeling horrid again, but it is a great way to prove to yourself that you care about yourself and want the best for yourself. Whenever I show up for myself in this way, I always have an extra surge of energy flowing through me for the day. I hope these outfits do the same for you. What outfits do you wear on repeat in the fall that also helps
    you feel put together? I'd love for you to share below! And thank you for spending time to read my blog! I hope you have an incredible day. Until next time my friend.

    Sunday Reads:How I'm Overcoming a Negative Mindset + Weekly Finds

    September 29, 2019

    Photo by Oscar Nord 

    I'm starting to realize more and more each week that our attitudes can truly make or break our levels of happiness each day. Obviously, this is a "wise piece of advice" that we've all heard so many times. We just roll our eyes whenever some talks about the importance of attitude in a ted talk, podcast or we see an inspirational quote about it. I admit, I was stubborn for a very long time and didn't want to put in the effort to truly fix my attitude. It requires so much effort to stay positive and to manage our thoughts! We have so many of them every day, and honestly, most of my thoughts have been pretty freaking negative for most of 2019.

    I felt like my circumstance should change first, and then I'll be more positive after I get "what I deserve," whatever that even means. After all, I work my butt off and put in a lot of effort in so many areas of my life, so where the fuck is the pay-off? This has been my train of thought. And I've spent a lot of time being angry, hostile and upset... but that really isn't working for me anymore. As I sat on my balcony, writing this post, something just clicked in my head. No, my life isn't anywhere near as put together as I would like for it to be. But repeating this cycle of having a great breakthrough, then having a setback, and then being disappointed in myself for not staying on track every single freaking day without accounting for the fact that I'm human and will always make mistakes is putting me in such a funk week after week. Do you see how self-destructive that train of thought is?

    I've also been struggling with thinking that external circumstances will totally change my life and solve all of my problems. Once I make more money, find the right loving partner, grow my business, travel more, save more money, pay off all my debt, send more money home to help with my brother's insane medical bills, put more effort into my looks, get a dog, then I'll finally be happy. But once again, this is a toxic mentality to have because after I achieve all of this, I'll just have more goals and different problems. Why? Because problems are forever. Discomfort will always be a part of our lives, so I should stop trying to "fix all my problems" in such a neurotic manner. Like why do I crave instant gratification so much? I guess that's a topic for my therapist and me to dive into in October.

    Will I ever stop pursuing my goals and dreams? Hell no! I think having something to strive for makes life sooo much more meaningful, but I am ready to change my attitude and stop resisting the fact that life will always have uncomfortable circumstances as we navigate adulthood. Dating in 2019 is fucking uncomfortable. Achieving more in our careers is fucking uncomfortable. Nurturing a mature and healthy, romantic relationship requires a lot of sacrifices, which is fucking uncomfortable. Getting out of debt is fucking uncomfortable... you get the point.

    But also, changing our mindset is uncomfortable. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done because I have to work so hard at it, like every single fucking day, oy. But there's nothing else I'd rather put my energy into because if my mind isn't right, I'm so miserable and depressed. And when I get in a really dark space, it's hard for me to function, even on the smallest level. This is why I spend so much time listening to podcasts, reading self-help/career books and going to my dance classes and workout classes. I also understand that as life gets more and more stressful, I have to add more things to my wellness routine ie., reading more, writing and journaling more, creating more, exploring new neighborhoods and towns more, SAVING MORE MONEY, going to more cultural and networking events, dating myself more and spending more time in nature. Essentially, I have to take care of myself even when I'm exhausted and want to stay in bed all day. And you do too, booboo.

    I hope you set aside 10 minutes today to make a small list of the most impactful activities you should add to your weekly routine to help you recharge. Maybe you spend your Friday nights having an at-home spa night instead of going out drinking. Maybe you go to Hobby Lobby or Michael's and pick up a few crafts to start working on. Maybe you set a weekly reminder to go read, paint or draw in the park for 30 minutes every Sunday. IDGAF what you add to your list, as long as it doesn't cost a lot of money and it helps you feel energized. It's ok if you only have one thing on your list for now, but as you start to prioritize your spiritual wellness more, you'll discover more activities that make you feel warm and giddy inside.

    We can't keep overdrinking, overspending or overeating to avoid our utter misery - things I've been doing every freaking weekend this month, and these toxic patterns have been throwing me so off-balance. I'd rather accept that I have a lot of work and growth ahead of me, and that's not something I should feel ashamed about anymore. More money, a meaningful relationship, financial freedom and the ability to help my family navigate the insane health issue that has changed my brother's life will enter my life at the right time. In the meantime, I'll train myself to appreciate navigating these uncomfortable seasons, because once I conquer this season, I truly believe I'll be an unstoppable force and will be able to contribute to making the world a much better place.  I have a feeling you'll be an unstoppable force too.

    Woo; ok! Thanks for listening to my soap opera today. Now, here are a few things I've seen around the web lately that I think are worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy, and I hope you realize how much your support means to me! We are so going to make the rest of 2019 our bitch and add so much magic to our lives.

    Favorite Finds and Links of the Week

    Weekend Agenda: 3 Things to do this weekend to reset

    September 14, 2019

    Photo by JOHN TOWNER

    So I have a confession. I used to be one of those people who felt hella anxious if I didn't have weekend plans when I first moved to NYC. I felt like such a loser if I didn't have a packed social schedule. Maybe it's because I went to a hyper-social college and was constantly surrounded by sorority sisters and friends. There was always something to do, but more importantly, there was always someone around to hang out with. Literally, always.

    So the transition to post-college life was a little daunting. I was lucky enough to find an amazing crew a few weeks after moving to New York, but now that we are all hustling and grinding in our careers, building romantic relationships or moving to other cities, it's a lot harder to hang out. Aka, that means I have a lot more alone time. And it's taken me a while to appreciate this surplus of alone time. But now I realize how vital it is for me to spend time alone to recharge. Although I totally get a lot of energy from connecting with people, I also need a lot of time alone to reset and not feel drained.

    It's funny how I used to be a hardcore extrovert in college. I could go, go,go! I was a freaking energizer bunny. I thrived from being around large groups and loud energy. But now that I work a full-time job, take dance and pole classes, work on my blog and want to accomplish like 50 other things this year, I find myself fucking exhausted at the end of each workday. And I don't like it.

    I want to have the energy to come home and read for 30 minutes before bed. I want to have enough energy to wake up at 5:30 am, do a quick yoga routine and work on my blog for an hour before work. I want to have enough energy to paint my nails when I'm sitting on the couch catching up on my favorite shows. And I think I've finally figured out why I don't have as much energy as I'd like after work.

    It's because I don't take time to recharge properly on the weekend. Although I LOVE hanging out with my friends in Manhattan and Brooklyn, spending all of my time in the city on the weekends isn't great for my wellbeing. I need time to myself to work on all of my goals and to do things that inspire me. So now, I kind of look forward to not having a lot of plans on the weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally still a huge social butterfly, but I also need to be better about knowing when to say no to plans and just do me. So I'm sharing a shortlist of three things I'm doing this weekend to get my mind right and slow down.

    My Weekend Reset Roadmap

    1. Put together my vision/aspiration corkboard. This has been on my to-do list for so freaking long. I am really motivated by inspiring photos, patterns, and affirmational words. So having a constant visual reminder of why I'm working hard and eating "sh*t sandwiches" each week is a huge source of energy for me.

    2. Cleaning my freaking room.... and keeping it clean all week long. I thrive when I am surrounded by a beautiful and clean atmosphere. But I've noticed that I'll clean my room one night of the week, and then it's a train wreck the next day. And it stays a train wreck for the rest of the week. Why does it stay messy and distracting? Because I'm always too tired at the end of the day to tidy up. This is a terrible habit I've recently developed and I hate it. So I'm changing it. And I'm going to hold myself accountable by dedicating just 10 minutes every morning and every evening to tidy up. I pre-set an alarm so I feel obligated to follow through, and if I don't, I'll feel guilty. Since I despise feeling guilty, I will be more inclined to follow through with this goal.

    Photo by Julian Hochgesang 

    3. I'm going to spend a minimum of 30 minutes reading on my balcony with a glass of coffee or tea each day during the weekend. Depending on my schedule, I'll do this in the evening or in the morning. Now that it's cooling off a little bit, I'll be able to enjoy my outdoor space without sweating to death.

    Photo by Ellieelien 

    Ah, I'm so excited just writing about these plans! I love how much healthier my relationship with myself is becoming. Literally two years ago, I would have had a pity party for myself from the thought of too much solitude, but now. I can't wait to spend some quality alone time with myself! What are some of your favorite things to do in your "me time" to hit the reset button? Let me know below! After all, variety is the spice of life, so adding new things to our routines will help keep us inspired. Thanks again for reading this post and supporting me! Sending you lots of love, and I hope you have an amazing weekend!! 

    Dating Diaries: Dealing with Disappointment

    September 10, 2019

    Photo by: John Parkinson

    Oh boy, dating in 2019 is... exhausting. Or at least it can be if we set high expectations or just run into one too many disrespectful guys on dating apps. I know I've been freaking exhausted from dating apps for the past few months. I've constantly deleted and re-downloaded a few apps out of frustration or because the bland conversations just annoyed me. 

    And I'm not going to lie; I've dealt with a ton of disappointment this year in my dating life. But I've finally reached a place where I have accepted that disappointment is a part of life.  And guess what, it's a part of life that will never kill us, so why have I been so terrified of it? 

    I definitely go through cycles of not giving two f***s about dating and being irritated that I haven't met someone to build a meaningful life with yet. Sometimes this cycle happens all in the same day. Luckily, I have soooo many other exciting and challenging things to focus on in my life that dating isn't my top priority anymore. Although I will never give up on the idea of romantic love, I'm learning how to quickly bounce back from disappointment and to re-shift my focus to more important things within the hour every time I feel pessimistic about my dating life. 

    But tbh, this was an EXTREMELY hard place to reach. Like real hard. I had to spend a lot of time working on my mindset in regards to how much effort to put into dating. I used to put a ton of effort in, but that is kind of wasted energy for me. But hey, old habits die hard. I know I'll have slip-ups, but I'm proud of myself for finally learning how to deprioritize dating and learning how to bounce back a lot faster from dating disappointments than I was able to just a few months ago. 

    Its amazing how much progress we can make in a short amount of time if we cultivate the right mindset. 

    If you're familiar with my more personal posts, you already know that dedicate a ton of time to self-growth and seeking out ways to help me overcome all the dating woes that kept me up at night in the past. I guess you could call all my failed dating experiences research. I don't know why it took me so long to intrinsically believe and understand the lessons below, but it did. Oh well. We all have our own process. Although I had to learn these lessons painfully (well there're studies to back up how adults learn lessons through pain, so maybe I can blame biology), but I'm glad I did experience them. I feel so durable now, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Here are some of the lessons I've learned over the past year - and luckily these lessons can apply to pretty much every area of your life, but especially apply to dating/relationships in the modern age of "swiping for love".

    Lessons I've Learned In 2019
    • Set your boundaries and focus on creating a life you are actually happy about because no one else will give that to you. Relationships should add to your life, not fill a void or hole. 
    • Knowing how to self soothe is the only way to become stronger. 
    • Set strong boundaries (and sticking to them) is the best way to avoid dating drama or pain. 
    • No one has ever fucking died from being disappointed, so chill. There are plenty of fish in the sea ;) 
    • Stop putting guys on pedestals (thanks Actual Black Mermaid for this clarity). I’m over this for sure. I’m looking at people’s actions and not their words or their texts. Seeing clearer and knowing exactly what I’m getting myself into is the key to success. 
    • Taking a break from dating apps is necessary if I'm just starting to feel frustrated by them. If it's not a fun experience, I'm not spending my time on them.  
    • I keep letting myself down by having high expectations and getting invested in people who don’t invest back and who really aren't that special. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but no one can be special/meaningful in my life until we've built a strong bond/connection- and that takes a long time to develop. So no more of that! 
    I also wanted to share a few incredible resources that have helped me along my journey. 

    My biggest take-away - it’s not about me. I should get over my ego because I have no idea what’s going on in their lives behind the scenes.

    Actual Black Mermaid

    My biggest take-aways:
    • Don’t get hyper attached to someone you barely know.
    • Loss is expansion!!! The fewer distractions and less energy you spend on the wrong people, toxic jobs and bad habits in your life, the more room there is for the things that actually should be in your life. 

    My biggest take-away:
    • If you feel yourself settling, you should step back and focus on yourself. Work on your self-confidence and re-evaluate why you even want a relationship. Relationships should thrive on a want-base, not a need base. Being co-dependent isn’t cute and doesn’t help you grow into your strongest self! 
    I really believe that writing out a list of things to focus on instead of dating is a powerful way to stay on track in life, so here is my list!

    • Building a business I love
    • Creating digital and physical content/products that I'm proud of
    • Paying off my student loans!!!
    • Volunteering my time to causes I'm passionate about 
    • Traveling home to visit my family more often 
    • Building wealth and investing
    • Making enough money from an exciting and positively challenging job that allows me to live the lifestyle I want to in the NYC area 
    • Mastering new pole dancing tricks/flows 
    • Mastering new choreographed routines in my traditional dance classes  
    • Saving enough money to get a dog
    • Traveling the world with friends 
    • Learning to speak french 
    • Mastering intense cooking dishes 
    • Expanding my personal and professional network 
    • Reading more 
    • Adding more luxury investment pieces to my wardrobe
    This list could go on for a long time, but these are some of the things I'm pursuing at the moment. 

     I hope you share your list below. And thank you so much for supporting my site and reading this post. I love you so much more than you know. Sending you all the love you deserve. Cheers to creating the lives of our dreams. 

    September Mood Board: Accepting the Process

    September 4, 2019

    Photos by: Photo by Alessio Linwill-myers.com@mrrrk_smith@yoshikoevanka@eduardmilitaru@virussinside

    September is such a lovely month. And with the start of a new month comes new goals to pursue. I think this month, I'm going to focus on accepting things as they are and as they appear. I'm going to approach situations with a wide-eyed sense of curiosity and wonder. And I'm going to focus on appreciating the beauty and simple magic that exists all around us in everyday life. There's just no point in making myself miserable over things I can't control or getting upset when things don't go my way. Yes, I like to be in control over the things I can actually control, but most things in life are out of my control. I've been trying to force so many specific things to happen in my career and dating life and trying to fix my relationship with myself overnight. And surprise, it's not working for me. I have been making myself miserable expecting instant gratification.

     But I don't want you to misunderstand. I am in no shape or form giving up on any of my goals. In fact, I'm going to work harder than ever to become the person whom I wish to be. But I'm adjusting my strategy and just going to focus on being the best version of myself, for myself. Not for my boss, not for a romantic interest, and certainly not for social media/societal acceptance. I'm going to show up for life every single day (even on the really shitty, painful and dark days) to the best of my ability, literally just for me. And I know that some days I'll be able to show up for myself better than others, and I'm ok with that. Because creating the life I want is going to take a lot of dedication and a lot of time. And that process will have lots of highs and lots of lows, which I accept.

    I know that the only way to actually live a fulfilled life where you feel confident and are proud of the person you see in the mirror is to push through the shitty days and remember that the rough times are just temporary. And when the time comes, I'll make the salary I deserve to make, find the person who wants to build an incredible life by my side and continue to build my sense of self-worth.  And honestly, I can't think of a better feeling.

    I wanted to thank you for spending time today to read this post. I hope you make your own monthly mood board and share it with me or one of your trusted friends. We all owe it to ourselves to seek out inspiration, and this is one of my favorite ways to start each month, with a little bit of inspo. Sending you all the love in the world.

    My Favorite Fashion Finds From All The Labor Day Sales

    August 31, 2019

    Photo by Jason Briscoe

    Yeah!! Labor Day! I'm so grateful for all the men and women who have fought to keep our country safe. And I'm also grateful for some much needed time away from the office this long weekend. Labor Day pretty much means summer is over. I've come to accept that and am 10000% ready for all the chunky sweaters, mini skirts and cute booties. Fall fashion is my SHIT... but doesn't every fashion-lover say that? Whatever, I guess I'm a tad bit basic. I can accept that. But just because I love fall fashion doesn't mean I need to spend a fortune on fun pieces for the season. And LDW is the best time to stock up on fall staples because every single store on the planet is having major sales. I wanted to share some of my favorite finds from the sales round up with you guys. Online window shopping is really fun for me, so I fogured I should stop being a selfish brat and share the wealth with you. Now we can all be a stylish gang this season.

    Also, here are some great sale alerts to keep on your radar. Happy shopping. And p.s., there are affiliate links in this post. Just want to be transparent. :)

    Let me know if you end up grabbing anything cute during this weekend full of sales. And you can always DM me photos of your outfit if you're having issues styling pieces. Thanks again for taking a moment to read my post. Your support means so much to me. Sending you all the love and safety wishes this weekend, espeically for all my fellow east coast friends. I'm praying that this hurricane doesn't cause as much damange as it's predicted to. Until next time my friend.

    How to Cope with the Negative & Overwhelming News Cycle

    August 22, 2019

    Photo by Branden Harvey
    *Disclaimer: I'm about to have a "she doesn't even go here" mean girls moment and get real sappy. You've been warned.

    Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I like to pretend that I live in a faraway land where everyone is nice to each other. In this mythical place, people approach the differences in others with love, respect and intrigue, and violence is not a constant reality nor is it normalized. Yeah, that's a nice little daydream, but I know that it is far from how our world operates today.

    I've had quite a few discussions with friends recently about how we are experiencing extreme levels of anxiety. Between the mass shootings, a surplus of hate crimes, families that have been torn apart by the current administration, global warming and police misconduct, it's no surprise that most of my friends and I have trouble sleeping at night or have become way too familiar with panic attacks. But just because there is a ton of chaos in the world, that doesn't mean there also isn't a ton of good! 

    I am constantly researching ways to cheer myself up after reading the news. It's a tricky spot to be in because I want to stay aware of everything that is happening around the globe, but I also have had quite an amount of breakdowns after reading the news. I'm constantly on edge while doing the most mundane activities because I'm afraid that if I go to the movies, there could be a mass shooting or if I go to the grocery store at the wrong time, there could be a mass shooting or if I go to the wrong workout class, there could be a mass shooting. Or if I walk by the wrong police officer, I could get murdered.. you guys get the point. Most of us are on edge all the fucking time! And this is such an unhealthy way to live. So I've started seeking out a few different resources to help me calm the f down and learn to cope with the current state of the world. I wanted to share what I do to take care of my sanity because I know this is not a problem that is unique to me. I hope this list helps you find a little more peace in your day. And if you have any coping mechanisms, please share them below. I want us to support each other in every way possible.

    What I do to cheer myself up after reading the news. 
    • Mobile Journaling - Although I love the ritual of writing in a physical journal with a beautiful pen, it's not always the easiest thing to carry around or whip out when you are on the go. One of my favorite new habits has been using my phone as a journal. I started a folder in my inotes app that is dedicated solely to journaling. This way, when I'm feeling super anxious, I can express myself, collect my thoughts and reassure myself that everything will be ok.
    • I seek out positive news sources. Although I love my daily newsletters from Katie Couric and other sources, I NEED to read about a lot more positive things that are happening around the world. The Good News Newsletter by The Week is an amazing resource for happier news. I like that they actually share heartfelt, impactful stories instead of just fluff news.  I signed up for their newsletter via my work email so I actually see it every week and am more likely to read it. 
    • I watch Queer Eye. It's one of the best reminders of humanity in the world. Wine and Queer Eye are an excellent combination... just saying.
    • I chat with my friends about the current news. I have pretty amazing friends who are all very compassionate people. The news typically emotionally impacts them just as much as it impacts me. So discussing our thoughts usually makes me feel 10000 times better. It always helps me feel less alone and like our world has a fighting chance.
    • I step away from technology and treat myself to a nice, warm cup of tea. We all know about the soothing health benefits tea, but have you ever thought about grabbing tea instead of coffee when you are stressed or feeling really down. The warm cup feels like a mini little hug. I believe there are a few studies that discuss the psychological benefits of holding a warm beverage.
    • My last tip is to research ways to get involved. One time, I heard this great quote, "If an injustice makes you angry, that’s a sign that you should do something about it." So if reading an article makes you want to scream into a pillow, brings you to tears or want to punch something, hop on Google and find a reputable place to donate money to that cause or volunteer your time. The best way to feel better about the state of the world is to actively contribute to making it better.

    Now it's your turn homie. Let me know in the comments what you do to get over the emotional hangover that usually lingers after reading the news? I'm so happy that we have each other to lean on when times get tough. That's one thing I love about the internet; it allows us to expand our support system in ways that were never possible before. Thank you so much for spending time reading this! I love and appreciate you soooooo much more than you could ever know. Until next time my friend. 

    August Mood Board: Dog Days of Summer

    August 11, 2019

    Photos by: @sixteenmilesout, @the_modern_life_mrs, @sugercoatit, Matthew Waring,@alisaanton

    Although my closet is ready for it to be fall, I still want to soak up as much of summer as I can this month. In my opinion, August is all about enjoying time outdoors. 

    Reading in the park or on the porch. Having picnics late in the evening after the weather has cooled down a little. Sneaking in that last weekend getaway. Jetting off to the south of France, the Italian coast or Spain if you have the budget for it. 

    Yeah, August is a good month. It’s a reminder that it’s not too late to add some carefree joy and a little bit of luxury to our lives. I’m adding a little bit of luxury to my life this month by dressing up more, treating myself to dessert once a week, and saying yes to more social activities, even if I just feel like staying in pj's all day. Summer can be so much fun, and I want to take advantage of that. And hey, if I meet a cute guy who’s on my same page while I'm trying to have a buoyant summer... then that’s just icing on the cake. Why should summer end prematurely? Taking advantage of this airy time is something we all need to do. 

    I hope you add a few more things to your bucket list this August. No matter how big or small, adding enjoyable experiences to our daily routines is crucial if we want to stay sane in this extremely chaotic and anxiety-driven world. I'd love to hear more about what's inspiring you this month. And as always, I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this post. Your support means the world to me. Sending you lots of love! 

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