Photo by Tom Grimbert ; Photo by Earth ; Photo by Paula Borowska ; Photo by Sérgio Rola; Photo by Bee Balogun

Spring is right around the corner my friends. This past week was actually pretty nice. We saw some warmth and sunshine; it was exactly what I needed. Call me an optimist, but I truly think sping will come early for us this year, which is music to my ears because I'm dying to take my spring wardrobe out of storage!!! I've recently become obsessed with Fallon's wardrobe from the show Dynasty, and I want to emulate it. But I can't really wear blazers and miniskirts without stockings until the weather hits 60. Until then, I'm stuck dreaming of warmer weather and tropical destinations.

This spring, I want to focus on creating a life I'm actually excited about. And I finally realize that in order to achieve this life full of freedom and joy, I have to make a lot of temporary sacrifices. I don't want to work in a freaking cubicle for the next 40 years, and I don't want to worry about my finances. Both of these goals require a lot of hard work and a lot of saying "no". No to some (not all but some) social plans, no to spending extra money and no to fun distractions.

Although I understand that my life is about to become a lot more structured and full of discipline, I don't want to become so laser-focused on my goals that I neglect the other areas of my life. I'm planning to learn as I go and try to take things a lot less seriously. If you know me well, you know that I tend to take everything to the extreme. What can I say? I'm an extra af bitch. But I firmly believe that I have to learn to let go of the things I can't control in order to ascend into the life I desire. So cheers to learning how to go after our dreams while simultaneously swallowing a chill pill in order to avoid driving ourselves crazy.

What are 3 things that you realize you will have to temporarily sacrifice in order to level up in life? Write them down on a pretty piece of stationary and hang it on your wall. Or, share them in the comments below so we can be each other's accountability partners. Wishing you all the love and joy in the world. Thank you so much for taking a moment of your day to read this post. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. Until next time my friend.

Photo by Anton Darius | @theSollers

Happy Sunday my friends. I'm glad that we survived another week in the office. Life has been... interesting as of late. I don't know about you, but I'm going through a pretty big transitional phase. And this has been my first chill and therapeutic weekend in about a month. I truly needed it. Because I live in the NYC area, I'm constantly pressuring myself to experience as much as possible and go, go, go! For the past month, I ignored how important it is to slow the hell down. I hope you carve out some time this evening to do just that. I also hope this post encourages you to create a serene atmosphere in your home this evening while you dive into the links below. And if you're interested, scroll to the bottom of this post to read about my shit show of a life. I guarantee it will make you feel better about your own.

• Reading List - I don’t care that Black History Month is over - these are still great books to read 24/7 365
• Here are a few more books I'm planning to read this year.
• Love is a Battlefield - Watch this if you're trying to get over a guy (aka me this week), and watch this if you're ready to focus on yourself instead of desperately looking for love. Hey, we've all been there.
• Turn that Frown Upside Down - Three simple ways to turn a bad day around.
• Ladylike - I really want this posture correcting device after reading Grace's review! My posture is so freaking bad!
• Pretty Little Things - I'm really digging this jewelry line! I might buy one or two necklaces this month.
• Fashion Icon - I love these quotes from the late Karl Lagerfeld
• I Wanna Get Away- I need a staycation ASAP! I want to check out these places.
• I'm also intrigued by this IG account I recently found. Seems right up my alley.
• Cookbook - I want to try this turmeric latte recipe like now.
• Freelance Life - I want to check out all the places on this list this season! I love working from inspiring, cool coffee shops in the city.
• Captain Planet - I never thought about the micro waste that we produce from washing our clothes that are made out of synthetic material... I am buying this little product asap.
• Work Bitch - Some career advice from Grace, who I respect
• Meme Me - Loving this meme account my friend Melody introduced me to!
• Get That Money - I love Rickey and he speaks the TRUTH in this funny and inspiring video #chasebagsnotlove

Shit Show Chronicles - Part 1 

Weekly Highs and Lows 


Lows 

So... I was quite far from my best this week/weekend. I have been borderline distraught for the past two weeks, so I did what all self-respecting adults do... I drank instead of dealing with my emotions. Ooops. I go through waves of wanting to embrace my emotions and wanting to run from them. Well, this week was a fine example of why I shouldn’t run from them. Not only did I put myself in physical danger by overdrinking, but I ignorantly threw myself at men who blatantly showed me that they do not value or respect me. Did I handle these situations with class and grace? You bet your sweet ass that I did not! I went into meltdown mode instead of Michelle Obama mode.  At least we live and we learn right?  

This was also the first weekend that I've spent alone in over a year.  Since becoming single, I have purposely stayed busy. I was constantly out with friends and crashing at their places to avoid being alone.  So Friday night, I challenged myself to go home after my dance class and stay in for the night. Surprisingly, I had an amazing night to myself filled with Chick-Fil-A, journaling and binge-watching Sex and the City. I fell asleep extremely early (because I'm apparently an old maid now) and woke up feeling refreshed and on top of the world. 

Saturday night, I was not so lucky. This is when all of the self-deprecating thoughts came rushing into my mind. I fell into a little spiral and woke up a few times throughout the night, but I realize how much I needed time to be sad and process my emotions. I woke up in a negative headspace, but once I told myself "hey girl, this is just a temporary emotion and it will pass," I was able to move on with my day and have an amazing Sunday! I used to be in the place where I was terrified to be single again, but I'm soooo much happier than I was a few months ago because I know that I am strong enough to take care of myself now. Before, I was really bad at taking care of myself. 

Weekly Highs 

I learned 3 things about myself during this week's trials and tribulations... 

1. I CANNOT DRINK if I’m severely upset about something, and this week I was irrationally devastated over a guy and my career. Now I realize that if I drink before dealing with my issues, I will make bad decisions... every single damn time. Add a lack of sleep and additional hormones from my period to that equation and you get two manic episodes in the course of 5 days, featuring yours truly. I'm happy to report that I'm no longer beating myself up about these episodes; I’m actually quite relieved that I came to this conclusion. This is something I’ll probably deal with for the rest of my life. I now see what happens when I bottle everything up inside and then add alcohol on top of it. 

2. I also realize that there’s nothing wrong with being sad or upset from time to time. I’m so terrified of going back to the mental place I was in during 2015-2017, but I’ve significantly grown since then. I’ve made similar mistakes as that version of me, but I’m not bed-ridden over guilt or self-hate anymore. I totally contribute this new mental grit/strength to the therapy sessions I sought out during 2018. I also still want to prioritize therapy and figure out how to make it fit into my budget. Paying that hefty price sucks, but it’s critical for me to take care of my mindset in order to thrive. I thought I could do it alone and I can’t. I am fine admitting that now. 

3. My recent breakup is affecting me more than I thought it would. I have not used the past three weeks to focus on my dreams; instead, I’ve turned to men, alcohol and partying as a distraction from what I actually want in life! Why? Because I’m terrified that I’m going to fucking fail. The ironic part about this fear is, I'm allowing it to control my actions. Therefore, I'm acting like an immature, psychotic shit show. I’m not ok with that. I’m better than that. So now it's time for me to clean up my act.  And I'm fully confident that I am doing just that. Obviously, I'm going to still make mistakes, but I highly doubt I'll make the same ones again. 

Thank you so much for spending part of your day reading this post. I hope my messiness hopes you feel less alone if you've felt like a mess lately too. Sending you so much love and joy! Until next time my friend. 

Photo by Ella Jardim

Wow, it has been one hell of a week. The extreme, contrasting thoughts and emotions I experienced this week were surprising. My romantic relationship came to an end last Sunday, and since then I have felt heart-break, depression, grief, anger and self-doubt. But I've also felt excited, liberated, energetic, confident and most importantly, I now feel blessed that I have an opportunity to prove to myself that the only way I will ever be happy is to find it within myself. I know, I almost just gagged a little bit and rolled my eye, but it's true.  I have ALWAYS looked for validation, acceptance, and love from external sources. It's a habit I still struggle with, but I'm a hell of a lot better at handling my emotions than I was a year ago or even six months ago.

Now that I'm not in a romantic relationship, I'm dedicating more energy to the things I've always loved but have been slacking on recently. I'm going to the gym more, pushing myself more than ever in my dance and pole classes, challenging myself to be more independent, seeing my friends more and having more fun dressing up each day!

Two of my biggest confidence boosters come from giving my all in a dance/pole class or wearing an outfit that makes me feel empowered. Although I am passionate about dancing, fashion is something I interact with 24/7; therefore, it has a higher impact on my life. I've always had a deep connection to fashion and find it invigorating. If you're reading this post, I'm guessing you have some type of connection to the beauty/fashion world too. You most likely believe, like I do, that a fun lipstick shade or cute outfit can help you feel even more amazing about yourself. That's why I'm sharing my recent favorite pieces down below. Some of these items I already have, own something similar or plan on adding it to my wardrobe in a financially responsible manner. I only buy items that "spark joy" in my life now thanks to Marie Kondo. I hope these pieces bring you a little bit of confidence and joy too. Until next time my friend, and thank you so much for spending a little time today to support my site. Your time and love mean the world to me.


Animal Print
Ok, so it's safe to say that I'm obsessed with cheata print and snake skin print. I can't help it. I just woke up one day and needed all of it in my life.



Gearing Up For Spring
I'm OBSESSED with the colors Riviera Blue and pink for spring. You already know I'm going to wear these colors head to toe in a monochromatic looks. Think Fallon-eque outfits from Dynasty. I'm talking all the blazer dresses or blazers with mini skirts you can imagine. Ah!! I'm so excited



Camel Everything
I finally have a camel coat and camel plaid scarf. I feel like a true New Yorker now.


Happy Shopping! Let's pray that spring comes quickly!

Photo by Nicolette Meade

Hope your day is off to a great start! I'm currently writing this post from a coffee shop in my neighborhood. I haven't worked from a coffee shop in a while, and I almost forgot how much I love this ritual! It's so blissful to take two hours for myself and block out the surrounding world. I used to fear to be alone with my thoughts because I didn't know how to be kind to myself, but now alone time feels like a luxury. I hope you can sneak in a little alone time this weekend as well. It truly is quite refreshing. I also hope you find the links below to be helpful, entertaining or inspiring. I know I do! If you have any links you want to share in the comments below, I'd love to know what meme, article or video has put a smile on your face this weekend. 

Weekend TV Guide: 10 Documentaries every woman in their 20s should watch  
BYOB restaurants in NYC - Because we all need to save money this year! 
BYO food bars in NYC - Great for all my friends who are on special diets 
Terrible People: Ew!!! NEVER eat here! I hope this manager got fired for being so sexist! 
Self Love - What you should focus on instead of focusing on finding the “love of your life” 
Beauty Bar: I’m intrigued by this new beauty trend  
Fashion Nerd: This is so interesting! I’m excited about this new fashion/psychology series. I’ve always been fascinated with psychology and have a deep connection to fashion. Here’s one I’m excited to read this weekend. 
HBIC: An interesting resume tip 
Black Girl Magic!!! Time to celebrate these amazing black women 
Get It Together - This inspiring closet organization article plus the new Marie Kondo show on Netflix is going to help me feel more put together. 

Weekly Highs:

This week was a whirlwind! A lot of stressful incidents happened over the past 7 days. But oddly, I’m in a much better mood than I’ve experienced earlier in the month. I guess a lot of shitty things happening all at once helped me re-adjust my perspective and focus on what truly matters and why gratitude is so important. The best part of this week was the fact that I proved to myself how resilient I can be. 

Yes, I cried a lot. Yes, I let 95% of my weekly to-do list fall through the cracks and beat myself up about it. Yes, I have a loving boyfriend who comforted me and told me everything was going to be ok. Yes, I called my best friend Kendra to help cheer me up. I know I am blessed to have their love and support, but at the end of the day, we have to depend on ourselves in order to see the light again. Words of comfort from other people are nice, but they don’t magically change your mindset. Only you have the power to focus on the positive side of things. And unfortunately, that’s a skill that we all have to work at every single day if we want a sustainable positivity. I’m just grateful that all of my loved ones are safe and sound, I have a source of income in my dream industry and I can start planning to redecorate my apartment for the spring. 

Weekly Lows:

I want to keep this part short and sweet because: 
a.) I don’t want to sound like a whiny little punk and 
b.)listening to me complain won’t help you on your path to success. 

But I will briefly list all the poo things that happened in my life this week so you know how unperfect my life is. This way, you don’t feel so alone when poo things happen to you.

• Lost my Chanel wallet in a cab 
• Was overcharged $152 by the terrible restaurant/bar Tijuana Picnic in the LES (which refused to answer the phone, return my email or speak to a manager when I went back to the bar). 
• One of my immediate family members in Georgia was rushed to the hospital (this emergency made all of my other problems seem very small)

As you can see, my life is messy. I think our social media society has caused us all to compare and desire the lives of others. I don’t want to portray that my life is better than yours. I want us all to work together so we all live the lives of our dreams. Thank you so much for stopping by my site to read this post. I hope this article helped you smile. Until next time my friend!