Photo by Micheile Henderson

With July now being in full swing, I want to make sure I embrace the magic of high summer while social distancing. Just because I'm staying at home a lot, doesn't mean I can't make my weekends feel special. To be honest, my weekdays are still filled with a decent amount of anxiety and long to-do lists. Add in the non-stop news alerts I get from my subscriptions, and it creates the perfect emotionally draining storm. I'm getting better at managing those emotions, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't put more pressure on myself on Mondays-Thursdays. And that's where the cherished weekend comes in.  Because weekends, now those are still precious and as carefree as possible with everything that's going on. The weekends tend to be when I let myself relax and catch up on fun. So here is my frugal, at-home staycation game plan for this weekend!



Friday Evening

1. Pick up a bottle of wine and flowers to go with my healthy and delicious dinner. I'm going to make chicken kabobs with a side of broccoli. And now it's time to set the scene. Put flowers on the table, eat and drink from pretty tableware, play good music, and make sure the area is clean and clutter-free... that's how you take an ordinary dinner to the next level.  
2. Light candles and settle in for a feel-good movie. Disney Plus is WHERE IT'S AT!!!
3. Spa Time!  I'm going to give my hands and feet a coconut oil treatment and then paint my nails while watching the movie and drinking wine. Then I'll do a face mask and hair treatment before curling up into bed with a poetry book. 

Photo by Anton Darius | @theSollers

Happy Sunday my friends. I'm glad that we survived another week in the office. Life has been... interesting as of late. I don't know about you, but I'm going through a pretty big transitional phase. And this has been my first chill and therapeutic weekend in about a month. I truly needed it. Because I live in the NYC area, I'm constantly pressuring myself to experience as much as possible and go, go, go! For the past month, I ignored how important it is to slow the hell down. I hope you carve out some time this evening to do just that. I also hope this post encourages you to create a serene atmosphere in your home this evening while you dive into the links below. And if you're interested, scroll to the bottom of this post to read about my shit show of a life. I guarantee it will make you feel better about your own.

• Reading List - I don’t care that Black History Month is over - these are still great books to read 24/7 365
• Here are a few more books I'm planning to read this year.
• Love is a Battlefield - Watch this if you're trying to get over a guy (aka me this week), and watch this if you're ready to focus on yourself instead of desperately looking for love. Hey, we've all been there.
• Turn that Frown Upside Down - Three simple ways to turn a bad day around.
• Ladylike - I really want this posture correcting device after reading Grace's review! My posture is so freaking bad!
• Pretty Little Things - I'm really digging this jewelry line! I might buy one or two necklaces this month.
• Fashion Icon - I love these quotes from the late Karl Lagerfeld
• I Wanna Get Away- I need a staycation ASAP! I want to check out these places.
• I'm also intrigued by this IG account I recently found. Seems right up my alley.
• Cookbook - I want to try this turmeric latte recipe like now.
• Freelance Life - I want to check out all the places on this list this season! I love working from inspiring, cool coffee shops in the city.
• Captain Planet - I never thought about the micro waste that we produce from washing our clothes that are made out of synthetic material... I am buying this little product asap.
• Work Bitch - Some career advice from Grace, who I respect
• Meme Me - Loving this meme account my friend Melody introduced me to!
• Get That Money - I love Rickey and he speaks the TRUTH in this funny and inspiring video #chasebagsnotlove

Shit Show Chronicles - Part 1 

Weekly Highs and Lows 


Lows 

So... I was quite far from my best this week/weekend. I have been borderline distraught for the past two weeks, so I did what all self-respecting adults do... I drank instead of dealing with my emotions. Ooops. I go through waves of wanting to embrace my emotions and wanting to run from them. Well, this week was a fine example of why I shouldn’t run from them. Not only did I put myself in physical danger by overdrinking, but I ignorantly threw myself at men who blatantly showed me that they do not value or respect me. Did I handle these situations with class and grace? You bet your sweet ass that I did not! I went into meltdown mode instead of Michelle Obama mode.  At least we live and we learn right?  

This was also the first weekend that I've spent alone in over a year.  Since becoming single, I have purposely stayed busy. I was constantly out with friends and crashing at their places to avoid being alone.  So Friday night, I challenged myself to go home after my dance class and stay in for the night. Surprisingly, I had an amazing night to myself filled with Chick-Fil-A, journaling and binge-watching Sex and the City. I fell asleep extremely early (because I'm apparently an old maid now) and woke up feeling refreshed and on top of the world. 

Saturday night, I was not so lucky. This is when all of the self-deprecating thoughts came rushing into my mind. I fell into a little spiral and woke up a few times throughout the night, but I realize how much I needed time to be sad and process my emotions. I woke up in a negative headspace, but once I told myself "hey girl, this is just a temporary emotion and it will pass," I was able to move on with my day and have an amazing Sunday! I used to be in the place where I was terrified to be single again, but I'm soooo much happier than I was a few months ago because I know that I am strong enough to take care of myself now. Before, I was really bad at taking care of myself. 

Weekly Highs 

I learned 3 things about myself during this week's trials and tribulations... 

1. I CANNOT DRINK if I’m severely upset about something, and this week I was irrationally devastated over a guy and my career. Now I realize that if I drink before dealing with my issues, I will make bad decisions... every single damn time. Add a lack of sleep and additional hormones from my period to that equation and you get two manic episodes in the course of 5 days, featuring yours truly. I'm happy to report that I'm no longer beating myself up about these episodes; I’m actually quite relieved that I came to this conclusion. This is something I’ll probably deal with for the rest of my life. I now see what happens when I bottle everything up inside and then add alcohol on top of it. 

2. I also realize that there’s nothing wrong with being sad or upset from time to time. I’m so terrified of going back to the mental place I was in during 2015-2017, but I’ve significantly grown since then. I’ve made similar mistakes as that version of me, but I’m not bed-ridden over guilt or self-hate anymore. I totally contribute this new mental grit/strength to the therapy sessions I sought out during 2018. I also still want to prioritize therapy and figure out how to make it fit into my budget. Paying that hefty price sucks, but it’s critical for me to take care of my mindset in order to thrive. I thought I could do it alone and I can’t. I am fine admitting that now. 

3. My recent breakup is affecting me more than I thought it would. I have not used the past three weeks to focus on my dreams; instead, I’ve turned to men, alcohol and partying as a distraction from what I actually want in life! Why? Because I’m terrified that I’m going to fucking fail. The ironic part about this fear is, I'm allowing it to control my actions. Therefore, I'm acting like an immature, psychotic shit show. I’m not ok with that. I’m better than that. So now it's time for me to clean up my act.  And I'm fully confident that I am doing just that. Obviously, I'm going to still make mistakes, but I highly doubt I'll make the same ones again. 

Thank you so much for spending part of your day reading this post. I hope my messiness hopes you feel less alone if you've felt like a mess lately too. Sending you so much love and joy! Until next time my friend. 

Photo by Nicolette Meade

Hope your day is off to a great start! I'm currently writing this post from a coffee shop in my neighborhood. I haven't worked from a coffee shop in a while, and I almost forgot how much I love this ritual! It's so blissful to take two hours for myself and block out the surrounding world. I used to fear to be alone with my thoughts because I didn't know how to be kind to myself, but now alone time feels like a luxury. I hope you can sneak in a little alone time this weekend as well. It truly is quite refreshing. I also hope you find the links below to be helpful, entertaining or inspiring. I know I do! If you have any links you want to share in the comments below, I'd love to know what meme, article or video has put a smile on your face this weekend. 

Weekend TV Guide: 10 Documentaries every woman in their 20s should watch  
BYOB restaurants in NYC - Because we all need to save money this year! 
BYO food bars in NYC - Great for all my friends who are on special diets 
Terrible People: Ew!!! NEVER eat here! I hope this manager got fired for being so sexist! 
Self Love - What you should focus on instead of focusing on finding the “love of your life” 
Beauty Bar: I’m intrigued by this new beauty trend  
Fashion Nerd: This is so interesting! I’m excited about this new fashion/psychology series. I’ve always been fascinated with psychology and have a deep connection to fashion. Here’s one I’m excited to read this weekend. 
HBIC: An interesting resume tip 
Black Girl Magic!!! Time to celebrate these amazing black women 
Get It Together - This inspiring closet organization article plus the new Marie Kondo show on Netflix is going to help me feel more put together. 

Weekly Highs:

This week was a whirlwind! A lot of stressful incidents happened over the past 7 days. But oddly, I’m in a much better mood than I’ve experienced earlier in the month. I guess a lot of shitty things happening all at once helped me re-adjust my perspective and focus on what truly matters and why gratitude is so important. The best part of this week was the fact that I proved to myself how resilient I can be. 

Yes, I cried a lot. Yes, I let 95% of my weekly to-do list fall through the cracks and beat myself up about it. Yes, I have a loving boyfriend who comforted me and told me everything was going to be ok. Yes, I called my best friend Kendra to help cheer me up. I know I am blessed to have their love and support, but at the end of the day, we have to depend on ourselves in order to see the light again. Words of comfort from other people are nice, but they don’t magically change your mindset. Only you have the power to focus on the positive side of things. And unfortunately, that’s a skill that we all have to work at every single day if we want a sustainable positivity. I’m just grateful that all of my loved ones are safe and sound, I have a source of income in my dream industry and I can start planning to redecorate my apartment for the spring. 

Weekly Lows:

I want to keep this part short and sweet because: 
a.) I don’t want to sound like a whiny little punk and 
b.)listening to me complain won’t help you on your path to success. 

But I will briefly list all the poo things that happened in my life this week so you know how unperfect my life is. This way, you don’t feel so alone when poo things happen to you.

• Lost my Chanel wallet in a cab 
• Was overcharged $152 by the terrible restaurant/bar Tijuana Picnic in the LES (which refused to answer the phone, return my email or speak to a manager when I went back to the bar). 
• One of my immediate family members in Georgia was rushed to the hospital (this emergency made all of my other problems seem very small)

As you can see, my life is messy. I think our social media society has caused us all to compare and desire the lives of others. I don’t want to portray that my life is better than yours. I want us all to work together so we all live the lives of our dreams. Thank you so much for stopping by my site to read this post. I hope this article helped you smile. Until next time my friend! 

1. I shouldn’t be ashamed of crying because it means I have a lot of passion for things in my life.
2. I put a shit ton of expectations on myself and on the people in my life. 

• My PR career
• My blogging career
• My fitness goals 
• My fashion and beauty standards 
• My pole dancing class 
• My social status 
• My financial status 
• My romance life 
• honestly, the list just continues  

• Affirmations - This might feel weird but affirmations are a great way to feel confident if you embrace them. 
• Impact Theory episode 
• The Oprah Magazine Instagram account - it's full of so many amazing quotes 

• Aerie: Up to 50% off sales styles.  
• Asos: Up to 60% off select styles.
• Boohoo: 50% off entire purchase and free shipping.
• Express: Extra 40% off sale items.
• Talbots: 30% off entire purchase with code FRIENDS30
• Rebecca Minkoff: Up to 75% off select styles.
• The RealReal: 20% off with code REAL.
• Topshop: Up to 50% off all sale items.

Is anyone else in shock that Halloween is tomorrow? So insane! I’m sad that October is over, but at least the weather is finally cool. It actually feels like fall. I am taking full advantage of the rest of fall. I’m even working on an end-of-fall bucket list that I’ll share with you guys later this week. As for now, it’s time for another wellness challenge! This time, I want to focus on cutting back on my Netflix binging habits. 

I love a great weekend where I order seamless and binge a few shows (aka Riverdale). But I’ve noticed that I’ve been having these binge watching sessions on the weekdays too. And although it was a ton of fun blowing off my responsibilities this past week, I ended up being so anxious about everything I’ve been avoiding and feeing too overwhelmed to do anything... not healthy Nia. So for the next two weeks, I’m gonna schedule in my “do nothing time”.

I think everyone needs to rest and just not do anything every now and then, but since I’m working on multiple goals (ie. improving my health and fitness, making more money, running this blog after my day job, dating in the city, trying to network in my field, stepping up my style and beauty game and making more friends), I can’t afford to check out every single night after work, but if I block off one or two hours a day to unwind will help me relax without feeling guilty. Call me an optimist, but I'm pretty confident that scheduling these “I’m not doing anything right now” sessions is going to make a huge difference. 

I believe penciling in this time will encourage anyone to take advantage of their downtime AND their productivity time! It’s definitely going to take a lot of discipline, but it will be worth it. Plus, you can always create a reward for yourself to help you stay motivated. I have my eye on a beautiful velvet jacket, so if I stay on track, I’m treating myself to it.

So now I want to hear from you! Maybe you haven’t been making the most of your time, but you have goals you want to achieve and things you want to do. It’s never too late to make a change. We are totally going to have everything we want, but like I’ve said before, it’s not just going to fall in our laps. I hope you take on this challenge with me, and I can’t wait to hear from you guys in the comment section below. Cheers to a happy and productive Fall! 

P.S. Let me know what your favorite part about this post is. I'd love to hear your input, and if there're other topics you want me to share in these weekly round-ups, put it in the comments or email me! I'd love to start including them!

How to Help- ideas to give back or stand up for a cause this week: If you live in NYC, there's an app that you can download for cool volunteer projects.