A Note on Expectations

April 18, 2018

April has definitely felt like a month of cleansing. Not only have I been spring cleaning my bedroom in small sections, but I started going to therapy this month. You know that saying “April showers bring May flowers”? Well, I’ve been experiencing a lot of emotional showers this month. I’ve cried the entire time during my therapy sessions. At first, I was pretty ashamed about this and felt weak because I couldn’t control my emotions… but after talking to my counselor and a close friend, they helped me realize two things…

  1. I shouldn’t be ashamed of crying because it means I have a lot of passion for things in my life.
  2. I put a shit ton of expectations on myself and on the people in my life. 

So for the rest of spring, I want to do an experiment. I’m going to stop putting expectations on myself to perform a certain way. I’ve literally NEVER done this before. Mainly, I want to see if I can still perform well without adding the psychological drama that my world will fall apart if I don’t put that pressure on myself. Can you guys relate? We millennials get a bad wrap, but I think our generation puts a lot of pressure on ourselves. I push myself a lot, you push yourself a lot. I’m pretty exhausted from it, and I bet you are too.

Between expecting myself to excel in…
  • My PR career
  • My blogging career
  • My fitness goals 
  • My fashion and beauty standards 
  • My pole dancing class 
  • My social status 
  • My financial status 
  • My romance life 
  • honestly, the list just continues  

I realized that even though I told myself that I didn’t need to be a perfectionist, my mindset and insane anxieties are the actions and reactions of a perfectionist. I’ve just been in denial about it, and it took some therapy sessions for me to realize it. So I have A LOT of work to do in order to let go of the pressure I put on myself.  And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let go of the desire to be perfect entirely. But I have to try.

My expectations have been making me miserable! So I’m going to liberate myself and stop judging myself for not being perfect and not living up to my expectations right now. I hope you take on this challenge too. You and I will get there eventually. And now for the hard part... putting these words and plans into action. It’s probably going to be waaaaayyy harder than we think, after all, old habits die hard. But together, I know you and I can figure out how to let go of our extreme expectations and let excellence follow us naturally.

Thanks for reading, and I'm wishing you lots of love and serenity.

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