Photo by Dan Russo

Here are a few things that have been keeping me slightly more sane and helping me tackle the daily anxiety caused by RoRo (that's coronavirus for all my non-ebonics speaking pals... lmao) 

One: Virtual Workouts and Dance Classes 
I miss my workout classes and dance classes so freaking much. But technology is amazing and there are so many great free workouts on IG and Youtube. They have been such a blessing right now. I'm really into this Dance Body resistance band workout - it's short but really freaking hard! I also really like all of the full-body workouts Revolve has been sharing on IGTV in collab with fitness gurus. The workouts by Katrina have been my favorite because I've followed Tone It Up for years and she is really motivational/pushes you to keep going through the workout and I NEED an extra push to power through a workout lol.


And OMG my literal prayers have been answered by all the virtual choreographed dance classes. I'm obsessed with these three routines to some of my favorite songs like Skin, Girls Need Love and Captain Hook. I will probably purchase one or two over the course of the month because they are super cheap (btw $5-$10) and are the best parts of my day hands down.

Two: All The Grilled Food
Whether you have a real grill or even just a mini George Foreman, I highly recommend grilling any and everything in your fridge. From pineapple to sweet potatoes, or from seafood to burgers, there is something about grilled food. It adds an extra sense of fun, flavor and sometimes luxury feel to every meal. My favorite meal at the moment is grilled salmon paired with grilled zucchini. Uh, I'm so hungry right now.

Three: Cute Loungewear During the Work Week
I've been loving wearing a mix of loungewear and cute outfits. Cute outfits have been reserved for weekends, running to the grocery store biweekly and nature walks.  But when I'm being productive, I'm all about the cute loungewear. Here are a few pieces that I have my eye on or own. Although I am currently furloughed and pretty anxious about money right now, I did treat myself to a $10 lounge set from Boohoo (sold out now) and a $20 pink striped PJ set (linked below) last night because I wanted to reward myself for being so productive this past week, for previously setting aside money for an emergency and for pushing through a pretty insense depressive state. And I know I am significantly more productive (and have more positive thoughts) when I feel cute vs. when I look and feel like an underbridge troll.


Four: Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu
Kerry Washington AND Reese Witherspoon... do I even need to say more? No, I don't. I'm completely and utterly obsessed and this is the exact escape I need each week. Thanks, Hulu.


Five: Short Guided Meditations to Stop My Anxiety Attacks in their Tracks
So I have this natural ability to really work myself up in a completely unhealthy and sometimes paralyzing manner.

There are a million fearful thoughts running through my mind like.... (prepare for an anxiety rant in three, two, one and skip this paragraph if you think it might trigger you) how the fuck am I going to pay rent this summer if I'm not working by then? Are my mom and brother going to be safe since they are both high-risk? If they get sick, will I even be able to travel there to take care of them or be there if they don't beat the virus? How can I keep paying down debt or pay any of my bills after my emergency fund is gone if unemployment checks are severely delayed? How many people are going to pass away from this virus before a vaccine is ready? Will I have to give up on my dreams and move away from my beloved NYC if this doesn't end soon? What if there is something wrong with my unemployment application and I'm denied... how will I even afford food after my emergency savings run out? Is my career field obsolete since I work in the fashion industry? Is all my hard work from the past 4 years and the promotion I worked my ass off for just gone down the toilet now? Will I be able to afford my dance and pole classes at my gym because they are one of the best things in my life? And the list of fears continues; just like I'm sure your list of fears is ever-growing right now.

But, as we all know, letting thoughts like these control our minds only hurts us. So when I get in this anxiety tornado, I roll out my yoga mat, lie down, focus on breathing and listen to a short guided meditation or calming video/podcast. This usually helps me reset and calm the actual fuck down in five to ten minutes. TBH, I even did this when we were all still working in an office because I keep a blanket at my desk.

One positive thing that has come out of this craziness has been the increase in free mental health resources for us. I know this is a crappy freaking time but we are badasses and pretty resilient. We are gonna emerge stronger than ever after all this. Sending you all the love, and thanks for taking a moment to read this post. Your support means the absolute world to me.

Photo by Taylor Simpson

Well this week has been a whirlwind to say the least. So. Much. Emotional. Chaos!!! My family keeps being tested, but hey, life was never meant to come without problems. That's why it's crucial to seek out accessible things that put a smile on our faces.  I really appreciate how our priorities become clearer as we age, and the older I get, the more and more I savor all the small but fulfilling things in life. Here's a list of the things that have made me happy this week. I hope you share yours too! And thanks so much for spending time reading this post. Your support means the world to me!

Photo by Kevin Lee

1. Deleting Uber and Lyft!! I LOVE saving money. I am slowly but surely becoming addicted to saving as much as I can on the frivolous luxuries I've gotten used to. It's kind of like a game. If you live in a bustling city like me, you will probably feel sick to your stomach if you look at your uber receipt history. I know I do, and that's why I am loving saving money by saying no to shared rides when I can easily take the subway.

Photo by Oscar Nord

I'm starting to realize more and more each week that our attitudes can truly make or break our levels of happiness each day. Obviously, this is a "wise piece of advice" that we've all heard so many times. We just roll our eyes whenever some talks about the importance of attitude in a ted talk, podcast or we see an inspirational quote about it. I admit, I was stubborn for a very long time and didn't want to put in the effort to truly fix my attitude. It requires so much effort to stay positive and to manage our thoughts! We have so many of them every day, and honestly, most of my thoughts have been pretty freaking negative for most of 2019.

I felt like my circumstance should change first, and then I'll be more positive after I get "what I deserve," whatever that even means. After all, I work my butt off and put in a lot of effort in so many areas of my life, so where the fuck is the pay-off? This has been my train of thought. And I've spent a lot of time being angry, hostile and upset... but that really isn't working for me anymore. As I sat on my balcony, writing this post, something just clicked in my head. No, my life isn't anywhere near as put together as I would like for it to be. But repeating this cycle of having a great breakthrough, then having a setback, and then being disappointed in myself for not staying on track every single freaking day without accounting for the fact that I'm human and will always make mistakes is putting me in such a funk week after week. Do you see how self-destructive that train of thought is?

I've also been struggling with thinking that external circumstances will totally change my life and solve all of my problems. Once I make more money, find the right loving partner, grow my business, travel more, save more money, pay off all my debt, send more money home to help with my brother's insane medical bills, put more effort into my looks, get a dog, then I'll finally be happy. But once again, this is a toxic mentality to have because after I achieve all of this, I'll just have more goals and different problems. Why? Because problems are forever. Discomfort will always be a part of our lives, so I should stop trying to "fix all my problems" in such a neurotic manner. Like why do I crave instant gratification so much? I guess that's a topic for my therapist and me to dive into in October.

Will I ever stop pursuing my goals and dreams? Hell no! I think having something to strive for makes life sooo much more meaningful, but I am ready to change my attitude and stop resisting the fact that life will always have uncomfortable circumstances as we navigate adulthood. Dating in 2019 is fucking uncomfortable. Achieving more in our careers is fucking uncomfortable. Nurturing a mature and healthy, romantic relationship requires a lot of sacrifices, which is fucking uncomfortable. Getting out of debt is fucking uncomfortable... you get the point.

But also, changing our mindset is uncomfortable. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done because I have to work so hard at it, like every single fucking day, oy. But there's nothing else I'd rather put my energy into because if my mind isn't right, I'm so miserable and depressed. And when I get in a really dark space, it's hard for me to function, even on the smallest level. This is why I spend so much time listening to podcasts, reading self-help/career books and going to my dance classes and workout classes. I also understand that as life gets more and more stressful, I have to add more things to my wellness routine ie., reading more, writing and journaling more, creating more, exploring new neighborhoods and towns more, SAVING MORE MONEY, going to more cultural and networking events, dating myself more and spending more time in nature. Essentially, I have to take care of myself even when I'm exhausted and want to stay in bed all day. And you do too, booboo.

I hope you set aside 10 minutes today to make a small list of the most impactful activities you should add to your weekly routine to help you recharge. Maybe you spend your Friday nights having an at-home spa night instead of going out drinking. Maybe you go to Hobby Lobby or Michael's and pick up a few crafts to start working on. Maybe you set a weekly reminder to go read, paint or draw in the park for 30 minutes every Sunday. IDGAF what you add to your list, as long as it doesn't cost a lot of money and it helps you feel energized. It's ok if you only have one thing on your list for now, but as you start to prioritize your spiritual wellness more, you'll discover more activities that make you feel warm and giddy inside.

We can't keep overdrinking, overspending or overeating to avoid our utter misery - things I've been doing every freaking weekend this month, and these toxic patterns have been throwing me so off-balance. I'd rather accept that I have a lot of work and growth ahead of me, and that's not something I should feel ashamed about anymore. More money, a meaningful relationship, financial freedom and the ability to help my family navigate the insane health issue that has changed my brother's life will enter my life at the right time. In the meantime, I'll train myself to appreciate navigating these uncomfortable seasons, because once I conquer this season, I truly believe I'll be an unstoppable force and will be able to contribute to making the world a much better place.  I have a feeling you'll be an unstoppable force too.

Woo; ok! Thanks for listening to my soap opera today. Now, here are a few things I've seen around the web lately that I think are worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy, and I hope you realize how much your support means to me! We are so going to make the rest of 2019 our bitch and add so much magic to our lives.


Favorite Finds and Links of the Week

• This book is at the top of my reading list because I've been feeling burned out recently. I can't wait to pick up Becoming Super Woman -A Simple 12 Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance, by Nicole Lapin. She also wrote Rich Bitch which was the first finance book I read and is still my favorite to date! 
• An inspiring story from a woman who paid off $30K in credit card debt in 6 months!! Like damn! 
• I'm so obsessed with all of these outfits in this blog post by NYC blogger Happily Ever Style! So chic and easy to throw on. Plus I NEED a brown velour maxi skirt
• Depression and anxiety are on the rise, but here is a helpful article about navigating the two in the workplace because we still gotta make money. 
• If you need some inspo to help clean up your life this week, check out this post. 
• I'm starting to build my fall wish list of things to buy myself (I have no shame), and I really want to invest in a beautiful pendant necklace that will last for years to come. 
• Uh, I need a suede trench coat, and I'm loving this $20 one from Shein, this $60 one from H&M, this $125 one from River Island, and if you have a sugar daddy, you could invest in this statement coat from Talbots. It's certainly a piece you'll have for years to come. 
• Here are 15 inspiring journal prompts to help you wind down this evening before bed. 
• Also, for anyone who wants to get better at being your own best date, read this lovely post by Meghan Donovan. She is genuinely a sweet, intelligent and charming person who's dating advice I appreciate and respect. 

Photo by Viviana Rishe

Hi Gang,

We made it through another work week. Hopefully, the temperatures have dropped in your area. We were having a ton of brown-outs/ black-outs in the NYC area, but it seems like the intense heatwave is behind us... for now. As far as this week has gone, things seem to be turning around. Well, truth be told, none of my situations have changed, but I am feeling a lot better and my attitude is wayyyyy healthier and better than it has been in a while. And that's something I can be grateful for. I've been putting in a lot of work to make myself feel better though; it's not as if I just randomly woke up today feeling strong. Here is a list of a few things I did this week to help "future Nia - or I guess, now present Nia" feel better:

• I forced myself to go to the gym multiple times this week, even though I REALLY didn't want to. 
• I woke up early to listen to podcasts and journal. 
• I stopped avoiding my therapist and actually responded to her text messages - lol 
• I dressed up a little bit more and took extra time in the morning to look and feel more confident (this seriously makes a huge difference) 
• I disregarded my "I should be making X amount of money by now" rule and accepted that it's ok to still be in an early growth stage of my career... but sidenote, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to work hard to make more money lol 

Photo by Henry & Co. Hi Guys, I hope you had a wonderful week! Here are a few interesting articles I found on the web this week. I hope you grab a cup of tea and enjoy diving into the links below this evening. And if you’re a GOT fan like me, let’s pray we don’t lose any of our favorite characters this episode… but let’s be honest, Game of Thrones has never cared about sparing our emotions lol.   Beauty Tricks - who knew that tequila had all of these beauty and health benefits!

• Save Our Planet - this was a really informative article about the fabrics our clothes are made out of, how they impact the earth, and what fabrics to shop for instead

• Dating in the City - I loved this article. Being single can be really rough in this day of social media. Most of my friends in NYC are in a relationship, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I get jealous of them from time to time. And dating apps have personally led to a decent amount of disappointments. That” why I found these articles so helpful this week. I’m definitely adopting the mindset of “fuck yes, or no” from now on when it comes to dating.
• https://thestripe.com/reader-q-staying-positive-while-dating/
• https://thestripe.com/how-to-survive-the-grey-area-of-dating/
• https://thestripe.com/why-dating-should-be-messy/

• Mental Health Talk - This article is for all of my fellow women of color. Mental Health care is typically frowned upon in our communities. I know I was told to just “pray more” while growing up when I asked my parents if I could go to therapy… not the most helpful advice when tackling mental illnesses. Healthy mind = healthy life #blackgirlmagic

• Stay safe online: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/10/opinion/privacy-feminism.html

• Pay off those student loans fast!!! These are GREAT articles. I have student loans, and I am determined to be debt free before I turn 30!!!
• http://theeverygirl.com/how-i-paid-off-my-student-loans-fast/?utm_source=Website+Signup+List&utm_campaign=a3f8a5167e-Career+Edit+Vol+10&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b0b510c806-a3f8a5167e-40636901
• https://www.xonecole.com/4-lessons-i-learned-after-climbing-out-of-35000-debt/?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1

• Turn that frown upside down: How to turn around a bad day and what to do when things aren't going your way!

• My favorite open, honest and relatable people on Instagram
• Hayet Rida - I've been following her for years and her entertaining, honest and uplifting content - especially her IG Stories have helped me get through a lot! I have an entire powerpoint of screenshots of the advice and quotes she shares.
• A Cup of Charisma - I was watching her IG Stories at my desk at work and started crying. Her stories happened to hit a raw nerve with me that day, but I love that Jillian always shares her highs and lows. Plus, she's a huge advocate for mental wellness, just like Hayet.

• Love this podcast episode about anxiety in the age of social media!!! Make some tea and listen to this! It’s the best 20 minutes you will have all day long

• Friendship is Magic: Maintaining friendships as you get older

• Currently Craving: seashells! I want these earrings; maybe I'll buy them next week.

• Growing Pains- Apparently our 20s are supposed to be hard.
• I loved how raw and honest these posts below were. They touche on so many points that I really relate to. So far my 20s have been freaking hard (losing my dad, graduating college without a job, my brother being diagnosed with an insane disease and constantly being rushed to the hospital, moving to NYC and dealing with mice, bedbugs and evil landlords, money and career struggles, dating all the wrong men, learning to let go of relationships that no longer serve me, adjusting to being single again, battling and getting treated for depression- therapy is the freaking best, having a quarter-life crisis…this list could go on and on lol) but these experiences are making me tough as fuck. I hope these articles I’ve linked resonate as much with you as they did with me. We are all struggling with something and learning how to grow from it.
• https://www.lifewithemilyblog.com/2019/04/turning-29-what-i-want-to-do-in-the-last-year-of-my-20s.html
• http://oliviarink.com/advice-thoughts/growing-pains/

• Wanderlust: Uh, I have a huge travel bug right now and want to check out these colorful places.

• Live well: Ayurveda health tips.

Weekly Highs and Lows

This week was transformative; that’s the most positive word I could think of. Despite being terrified of a lot of different things (some in my control and some out of my control). This week was not amazing, and I’m ok admitting that. I’m learning to accept that life is ½ negative and ½ positive. I will have hard weeks; we all will. And that’s kind of a blessing because these shitty ass times make us so much stronger. I have a lot of changes to make in my life - and I’m excited about that. I want to take actions that move me closer to my goals, and going back to therapy this week was the first step in doing so. I am so grateful that I am able to afford therapy (right now I’m using Better Help, which is quite budget friendly). I’m grateful to have the guidance of a much wiser person who can help me reflect on the errors of my past. Now, I’m able to apply those lessons and create a happier future for myself. No matter what the future entails, we are all capable of figuring it out. Wishing you a lovely Sunday and Mother’s Day - make sure to do something extra special for your mom and for yourself this evening. Even if it’s just ordering your favorite food and watching something hilarious - after all, laughter is the best medicine and my favorite coping mechanism for growing during hard times.

Thank you so much for reading this. Your love and support mean the world to me.

Photo by Nicolette Meade

Hope your day is off to a great start! I'm currently writing this post from a coffee shop in my neighborhood. I haven't worked from a coffee shop in a while, and I almost forgot how much I love this ritual! It's so blissful to take two hours for myself and block out the surrounding world. I used to fear to be alone with my thoughts because I didn't know how to be kind to myself, but now alone time feels like a luxury. I hope you can sneak in a little alone time this weekend as well. It truly is quite refreshing. I also hope you find the links below to be helpful, entertaining or inspiring. I know I do! If you have any links you want to share in the comments below, I'd love to know what meme, article or video has put a smile on your face this weekend. 

Weekend TV Guide: 10 Documentaries every woman in their 20s should watch  
BYOB restaurants in NYC - Because we all need to save money this year! 
BYO food bars in NYC - Great for all my friends who are on special diets 
Terrible People: Ew!!! NEVER eat here! I hope this manager got fired for being so sexist! 
Self Love - What you should focus on instead of focusing on finding the “love of your life” 
Beauty Bar: I’m intrigued by this new beauty trend  
Fashion Nerd: This is so interesting! I’m excited about this new fashion/psychology series. I’ve always been fascinated with psychology and have a deep connection to fashion. Here’s one I’m excited to read this weekend. 
HBIC: An interesting resume tip 
Black Girl Magic!!! Time to celebrate these amazing black women 
Get It Together - This inspiring closet organization article plus the new Marie Kondo show on Netflix is going to help me feel more put together. 

Weekly Highs:

This week was a whirlwind! A lot of stressful incidents happened over the past 7 days. But oddly, I’m in a much better mood than I’ve experienced earlier in the month. I guess a lot of shitty things happening all at once helped me re-adjust my perspective and focus on what truly matters and why gratitude is so important. The best part of this week was the fact that I proved to myself how resilient I can be. 

Yes, I cried a lot. Yes, I let 95% of my weekly to-do list fall through the cracks and beat myself up about it. Yes, I have a loving boyfriend who comforted me and told me everything was going to be ok. Yes, I called my best friend Kendra to help cheer me up. I know I am blessed to have their love and support, but at the end of the day, we have to depend on ourselves in order to see the light again. Words of comfort from other people are nice, but they don’t magically change your mindset. Only you have the power to focus on the positive side of things. And unfortunately, that’s a skill that we all have to work at every single day if we want a sustainable positivity. I’m just grateful that all of my loved ones are safe and sound, I have a source of income in my dream industry and I can start planning to redecorate my apartment for the spring. 

Weekly Lows:

I want to keep this part short and sweet because: 
a.) I don’t want to sound like a whiny little punk and 
b.)listening to me complain won’t help you on your path to success. 

But I will briefly list all the poo things that happened in my life this week so you know how unperfect my life is. This way, you don’t feel so alone when poo things happen to you.

• Lost my Chanel wallet in a cab 
• Was overcharged $152 by the terrible restaurant/bar Tijuana Picnic in the LES (which refused to answer the phone, return my email or speak to a manager when I went back to the bar). 
• One of my immediate family members in Georgia was rushed to the hospital (this emergency made all of my other problems seem very small)

As you can see, my life is messy. I think our social media society has caused us all to compare and desire the lives of others. I don’t want to portray that my life is better than yours. I want us all to work together so we all live the lives of our dreams. Thank you so much for stopping by my site to read this post. I hope this article helped you smile. Until next time my friend! 

Photo by Filip Zrnzević