Good News! Our Twenties are Supposed to be Messy

November 13, 2018

Hi Guys, 

Happy World Kindness Day!! I wanted to say hi really quickly and get something off my chest. So I’ve been a recovering perfectionists for a long ass time... honestly I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t one. And after realizing how unhealthy that mindset was in 2016, I’ve slowly gotten better at embracing the mess of life... but the key word is slowly. 

Last week, I had an exceptionally messy week. I was ready to throw my career away, give up on all my dreams and destroy my romantic relationship (because why not push away the guy who’s proved to me time and time again that he loves and supports me). Let’s just say that I saw a preview of what a quarter-life crisis looks like last week. Luckily, I’ve calmed the f down this week, put myself back in therapy to deal with my erratic behavior, and did some major self-analysis to be a better partner to my boyfriend. Although I am proud of myself for cleaning up my mess, I started to feel SUPER guilty for letting myself spiral last week and for ignoring all of the signs leading up to my little snap.

 In order to escape my shame vortex, I used some of those handy skills I’ve learned through therapy and started thinking “why am I embarrassed and guilty?” Who the fuck said that I had to have my shit together at the age of 24? I freaking don’t! And I shouldn’t expect myself to know all the answers! I’m allowed to make mistakes. I’m allowed to learn from hard lessons. I’m allowed to ask for help because who actually knows how to navigate adulthood 24/7? Are you putting the same pressures on yourself? 

A part of me will always appreciate a little bit of pressure because it’s a nice form of motivation, but too much self-inflicted pressure is toxic. Personally, a lot of that self-induced pressure is driven by my fear of other people’s opinions. But guess what, I’m over it! We are freaking young and we are going to make a ton of mistakes. It’s fine. They kind of make life a little more interesting. As long as we don’t keep repeating those mistakes and actually learn from them, it’s all good. Plus, those mistakes can lead to some hilarious stories in the future. Now I can laugh with my friends about how disheveled we were just two short years ago. 

So cheers to us making memories, making mistakes and making magic happen. We’re only young once, so we might as well take as many shots at our dreams, be nice to ourselves and say screw it to trying to be the best all the time. I'm ready to stop resisting the inevitable messiness of our 20s. I hope this post helps you feel less alone and a little more liberated. Congrats!! We’re not expected to know what the heck we are doing yet. Now we have one less thing to stress about. Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Your support means the world to me, and if you feel like sharing, I'd love to know what messy thing you've overcome in the past week or two in the comments below.  

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