Saturday, September 15, 2018

Mid September Mood Board: A Month of Focus and Freedom

Photo by Estée Janssens,  Oskars SylwanRoman KraftAugustin de MontesquiouRobin BenzrihemCédric Klei 

Another month has come and gone. At first I was dreading the end of summer, but now I’m  ready to embrace the magic of fall in the city. Of course, I’m still going to wear white because F*** the rules, but I am going to start transitioning my closet and decor for this fall season. And this month, I’m focusing on not letting my emotions control me. For the past week, I have let my emptions get the best of me. I've ignored the things I've truly wanted to accomplish, and I'm not ok with that. Now, I’m focusing on going after what makes me happy and ignoring other people’s invalid opinions and the netative thoughts that pop into my head. I want a lot out of life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I also want to spread a lot of love and kindness around the world, but I can’t do that if I’m constantly having panic attacks or binge watching Netflix to avoid stress. Making time to reflect is important to me, and I've come to realize that my panic attacks stem from three place:

One - the fear of my loved ones dying (totally valid)
Two - the fear of judgement and ridicule of others
And Three - the nasty little voice in my head that’s telling me I’m wasting my life away because I’m not working hard enough or that there's no point in even trying becuse I'll fail regardless. 


Now I realized that I’m not in control of 2/3 of the list above, but I am in control of how I react to other people’s opinions and I’m definitely in control of whether or not I listen to that hoe up inside my head. So this month, I’m embracing anything and everything that makes me happy as long as it’s physically, emotionally and financially responsible and doesn't cause harm to others. 


If I'm feeling down and uninspired, I’m gonna dip out and go to a coffee shop or sit in the park. If I’m feeling stressed out and need to do a yoga session at work, I'm going to go into our break room and have a 5 minute yoga session. My job assignments can wait. If I want to get a little dressed up and wear a fun outfit to make myself feel confident and strong, I’m going to do it (even if it means disrespectful men catcall at me. Also, I’m planning to get a taser lol). If I want to post that picture on Instagram on a Saturday at 3 pm even though my insights say that’s not a good time to post, I’m going to freaking post it and stop worrying about the likes and followers. 

This September, I’m taking back my power and putting myself in the driver’s seat again. I’m sick of constantly telling myself no because “oh goodness, what will people whom I barely know think of me” Nah, screw that. It’s time for me to do what I like, and it’s time for you to do the same … as long as it’s safe, doesn’t destroy your bank account, or have malicious intent. 

Well that’s all for now folks. Thank you so much for reading this! You’re a real one, and your support means the world to me. And don't forget, you're never alone. I'm just an email/DM away if you need someone to talk to. Until next time my love. 

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